Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Different strokes for different folks. I have to start by saying this. I am not right. I am simply explaining what is right for me. If what you do is right for you, then it's right for me too. I mean that from the very bottom of my heart. No judgments, one way or the other.
For me, Spirituality is my recognition of who we all are here, and how that effects my behavior while here in physical form. Period. The rest is COMPLETELY relative for me. My childhood bible taught me 'For how can you not love a man, whom you see, and expect to love God, whom you do not see?' For me...it's all about my willingness and ability to love my fellow man. In doing so, I love The Source.
The Tao te Ching gave me a practical Spirituality when I discovered it about 12 years ago. I have come to love this work...cherish its wisdom...as its teachings have transformed my life from bitterness, resentment, anger and pain, to peace, joy and love. If you get all of that in a church, at synagogue, through atheism...good for YOU. I, personally did not.
This week I read two very poignant chapters, which based on the month I have just had, opened themselves up to me in a completely new light, as inspired works often do :-). They teach us through TIME and ATTENTION, unfolding their layers, slowly, gently, and providing the most needed lesson at the very time it is needed most.
I read chapter 44 earlier this week, the end of which is...
Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize their is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
The very next day I read chapter 45, as I have for over a decade, and it said in closing,
The master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.
I have read these passages hundreds of times. Today, they revealed so much more to me than I have ever gotten from them before, and I had to put this down.
'Be content with what you have' was ALWAYS an invocation to place THINGS in their appropriate place. But today, I have to apply that sentiment to the relationship I have with, and the person who is, my mother.
'rejoice in the way things are.' because my relationship with her is EXACTLY as it should be in this moment. If it were to be something different, it would be. ACCEPTANCE!!! Sweet, dear acceptance is all I need to heal my heart when it comes to her. It IS as it should be! ALWAYS. This is what I got for a mother. Because this is what I needed to become who I am today. AND I AM AMAZING :-) because of,...and in spite of her!
'When you realize nothing is lacking'. I have EVERYTHING I need in this moment, regardless of who this woman is to me...and in the world. I am full, I am complete, I am WHOLE because of who *I* AM...the I AM...lololol. 'Who I am' has NOTHING to do with who she was...is...or shall choose to be.
'the whole world belongs to you.' translates to fullness of PEACE, through acceptance and surrender of this relationship AS IT IS, not as I would like it to be. I have mothers..lolol...lots of mothers...because I love. I am mothered by each of you on occasion :-). Because I am open and free...people openly and freely love me in return. Does it make that love any less valuable or important because it came from those with whom I share no DNA?!?! I think not! In fact...as I peel the next layer back, I see that the energy extended to me by strangers is all the more VALUABLE for its organic and spontaneous nature. Thank you all for that, btw. :-)
'she shapes events as they come. She steps out of the way' is my permission to feel and be and respond to my mother as circumstance prescribes. "Things change" as my husband so simply, eloquently and deftly stated a week ago. I am permitted to change with them. I am elastic! I am not static! This life and experience are such as well. I must shift and shape with the changing tide in order to weather the storm :-). And weather this I shall! Letting go of what 'should' be and accepting completely what 'is' gives me all the peace I need to walk through this particular incarnation with her. She does not have to be dead to me, nor do I have to like her. I am simply compelled by my brand of Spirituality to love her....and accept her...where she is right now. I do.
That feels so much better :-)