This is DAY 1 of the rest of my life!
I just wish I was gung ho to get moving.
I have signed up for my next two half marathons.
The Calgary Half Marathon on June 1. It's the 50th Anniversary, so I'm looking forward to it. My son and I are going to run it together.
Not long after I signed up for this race, my hubby decided he wants to do his dream vacation next summer. In the process of doing some research for his holiday, I found this run:
The Mayors Midnight Sun Half Marathon in Anchorage Alaska.
It's a race I've known about for years, and always wanted to do. Hubby's dream vacation is a cruise to Alaska, taking a train into the Klondike, and gold panning.
Well I found the perfect package. And with a little planning, it all works out.
We leave home at the end of May for the race in Calgary on June 1. Then we make our way to Vancouver for the cruise ship leaving on June 4. It's a two week cruise. Then we have 5 days in Anchorage before the race.
I'm excited for our journey. I'm excited for the next two races.
But I'm stuck on the couch. I've been sick for a long time - Shingles got me just after I ran a half marathon in Regina this past September. I am honestly still struggling with some of the after effects. The sores are 99% gone.
Okay I'll admit it. I'm still a little scared of another flare up. But I can't let that keep me down. It's been 2 1/2 months now. I wasn't able to run for much of that. It's time to get back on track. Unfortunately that means I'm starting over. Almost from square one.
I know it's only a small chunk out of my day. I'll feel so much better when it's done.
But I'm letting it overwhelm me.
When I trained for my last race, I put all of my energy into getting out the door and getting started. I struggled to finish my training runs, and would often just cave in and not run the whole thing. It took me a long time to find it in me to push myself to finish my run.
and in almost 3 months of training, I only lost 4lbs. It was so frustrating. I think that frustration made it that much harder to keep going.
When I started on Sparkpeople, it seemed easier. I struggled with nighttime binges, but relatively soon figured it out. I focused on drinking lots of water. Eating my freggies ( I also went gluten free right then so it really was a huge change). And I ran. Almost every day. My dog was taking me out running twice a day most days. I was dancing almost daily. I miss that where I'm living. I was using my polar hr monitor, and at my peak, I was focusing on burning 1,000 calories/day. My monitor did not take into account BMR, so this was calories burned through activity. I was eating 1400-1800 calories/day. I was calorie cycling - eating in my low ranges for 2-3 days, then one day in my higher range.
I'm scared. Scared I'll put the effort in, see no results, and give up. I'm tired of giving up on myself. I'm tired of getting that frustrated with the process.
I have a body media now. I also have a strong base line - I know what my BMR is, and how many calories I can burn just sitting on the couch. I also know how many calories I can easily burn.
I know it's not all or nothing. I know it's baby steps to win the race. However, how do I know if the baby step is too small?
Today my mind is sort of trapped in the "you can't do this. It won't work" thought proccess.
I know i need to change that. I need to believe in me. It's the only way I can do this. If no one else believes in me, that's on them. But if I don't believe in me, I won't get there.
I need to finish this. I'm famous for starting things, then not finishing. Or doing just enough to get by.
I'm not doing enough for myself. I'm letting my body slide again. I NEED to make it a priority again.
What can I do today?
Drink my water
Get my shoes on and get started on my training. It's a mountain to tackle to be ready for these two races in June. I can only get there one step at a time. Today is the day to take the next step towards that goal
It's time to begin my journey again. Wish me luck, and strength to keep to it when the going gets tough.