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Snap Out Of It!

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Saturday, November 23, 2013

emoticon Warning: Tough love ahead! This is from myself to myself, this is just for my accountability and will probably have no interest for anyone else but if you are that bored you are more than welcome to read it ha ha! It might be a tad harsh in places, but it comes from a good place and I'm sturdy I can take it. emoticon



So apparently the last couple of reality checks fell on deaf ears. I see a lot of talk with no action. I keep hearing the following:

"I really need to stop eating like this... emoticon "

"I need to try harder to have better days."

"I am frustrated that I keep doing this, I'll do better tomorrow..."

Funny though, the thoughts are all there, even the action plans aren't too shabby, but then day in and day out you keep making poor choices. Why are you making these choices? I think it's a mixture of a few different reasons....

I think part of it is that you are so close to your goal weight (within 30 pounds) that you are getting nervous about getting to your goal and getting to maintenance. I also know that you plan on having a tummy tuck, and even though it is something you want it is also something super scary. I mean surgery, pain?! *SHRIEKS IN HORROR* I think sometimes you prolong this whole weight loss gig because of your future plans. Well knock it off! Don't worry about what you may or may not chose to do a year from now. Don't sabotage yourself just because you are afraid to reach your goals. I know you are afraid of what might change as you continue losing this weight. You have already lost a "best friend" because of your choices to lose weight, what else might you lose as you lose the rest of this weight? Your true friends and family will love you no matter what, so just remember the people that count will always be there for you. I know you worry that you don't know how to be a "normal sized" person, but I have a feeling it really isn't much different, other than the part where it's less physically exhausting because you don't have to lug around the extra weight. No matter what being "normal sized" might entail, I know you can figure it out!

I also know that "it's the Holidays" and that you absolutely love food. But is that an excuse? Not really. There are tons of people who love food and love the Holidays and enjoy them without gaining weight. There are even those Super Stars who lose weight during the holidays. Now I'm not going to lie to you, Holiday time does present extra obstacles, but with careful planning you could overcome it, you just simply chose not to.

I didn't want to go there, but today was the perfect example. You enjoyed lunch out with your Gammie and your Mom, you even shared some dessert with them. You indulged, but that really wasn't a huge deal. You could have easily been VERY careful the rest of the day and come out with a fairly decent day... but instead you used the idea that the day was already in the toilet, so why not just eat something super unhealthy for dinner too? In fact, I couldn't help but notice that you really let your healthy habits go out the window. You didn't weigh or track your food like you normally do. I have seen you use that food scale almost everyday for a year... so I know that you know how, again you CHOSE not to.

This weight loss journey is all about choices. Each day, each meal, each workout you chose to do or not is all based on your choices. No one can do this for you. You have support, you have the best Spark Friends in the world that continue to encourage you, but they can't do the work for you. They can't prepare your meals and slap unhealthy foods out of your hands... they can't come over and stand over you while you do your workout. They offer advice and support but you need to take that and do the work.

I feel like I shouldn't be having to tell you this right now... do you realize how awesome you are? You have lost 80 pounds! Not only have you lost the weight you have done it your way, on your own terms! How cool is that? You didn't follow any plans, you found a way that works for you and you put a lot of time and effort into it. You made some bad choices along the way but you made more good choices and that is what got you to where you are. So why do you continue to make bad choices? What is the benefit you are getting? I know you think the food is yummy, and I can imagine it tastes good... but does it make you feel good? I know it doesn't because you keep telling yourself you won't continue down this path, but you keep doing it. I know you aren't quitting but is being off track for an extended period of time just a stones throw away from quitting? It just might be! I have faith in you, and I know you will snap out of this, but I just really needed to express my concern for you right now. The pounds aren't piling themselves back on but it just looks like that is where you are headed, so if I could do anything to prevent it, I had to at least try! emoticon



Okay, I'm done talking to myself now. It might seem silly but it has helped me in the past, and all I know is I REALLY need the help right now. I will always fight for this, but I really need to start winning some of the battles. I have had months at a time where this was second nature to me and so easy, and I have had weeks where it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know if I can make it past this rough time that I will find my way back to where things come easily. I just need to do the work to get back to that happy place. :) emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVELYGIRL2 11/24/2013 4:02PM

  Don't be scared , go for the finish line.We have to listen to ours and others pep talks and some prayer. I KNOW you are so close. We are in the bleachers cheering!!!! emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 11/24/2013 3:49PM

  That was fun to read. Best wishes to you!

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SUSIEMT 11/24/2013 3:46PM

    I know you can do this! I just hope that you stop your bingeing and that is what this really is..I think. Stop before you have to lose 110 lbs instead of just the 30 to goal. Do it now for your health's sake. Also regarding the tummy tuck...Make sure you lose all of the weight and you are stable before proceeding with it. If you lose additional weight air pocket form ( that is how it was described to me) that can only be taken care of by additional surgery. They make you look like you have love handles etc. I did have surgery and it turned out beautifully.

Keep up the good work and just say no no no more! Be happy with yourself! Find out who you are and will you be happy at that weight? Find out!

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NEWTINK 11/24/2013 3:25PM

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ROCKYCPA 11/24/2013 3:07PM

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NONNAOF2 11/24/2013 3:07PM

  You are doing such a great job in keeping things in perspective. Congrats on all of the weight loss, you are amazing!! :-)

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TUTUNAN 11/24/2013 1:43PM

    You are so right....it is all about what we choose to do. Thanks for the reminder!

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WILDFLOWERMA 11/24/2013 1:31PM

    Thanks for sharing - there is great wisdom in your post. You know yourself so well and have all the tools to make your goal a reality. emoticon

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ALIHIKES 11/24/2013 1:29PM

    This was a very powerful and moving blog that really spoke to me. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WEEPINGANGEL74 11/24/2013 1:27PM

    Much of this blog could have been about me so I completely understand the subconscious fears and mental hurdles. But your inner self is right, you've lost 80 pounds..... 80 POUNDS!!!! That's a small person and seriously awesome! !! Listen to your inner self..... you CAN do this. What you do with your new healthy self 30 pounds from now is your choice. ....meet people or don't, tummy tuck or don't. ....all choices that only you can make when you are ready!

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NEPTUNE1939 11/24/2013 12:36PM

    emoticon

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JMC155 11/24/2013 12:35PM

    Great blog...I have been finding excuses for myself. The best one is "well you managed to loss 35 lbs and have kept 25 of it off for a year. Not bad considering you broke your leg." It is an excuse for my bad choices, I am not ready to be back on track. However, I do make choices so I can maintain that 25 lbs. I remind myself it spent 20 years gaining this weight it is not going to come off over night.

Thank you again for the self talk.

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IDICEM 11/24/2013 11:23AM

  A message for yourself that resonates with so many of us.
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PATRICIAANN46 11/24/2013 11:01AM

  What a great blog!!!!! emoticon

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WATERDIAMONDS 11/24/2013 10:44AM

    What a wonderfully written, intelligent and helpful blog. Thank you!

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NASFKAB 11/24/2013 10:40AM

  thanks for the hard kick in the butt(mine) needed it emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 11/24/2013 9:56AM

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REGILIEH 11/24/2013 9:47AM

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DJSHIP46 11/24/2013 9:39AM

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CICELY360 11/24/2013 9:23AM

  Good blog

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GLORYB2014 11/24/2013 9:11AM

    Great blog! I can certainly relate to it!
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PENOWOK 11/24/2013 8:39AM

    Boy, you aren't talking just to yourself!! You are right on target for many of us!!! I am sorry you lost a friend (so you've lost well over 100 pounds right there!), but perhaps your friend is just plain jealous of your amazing changes!! There are some scary things ahead, but far scarier behind!! Get back on track, please!!

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CLAYARTIST 11/24/2013 8:18AM

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MIMIDOT 11/24/2013 7:34AM

    Well said! Couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Thanks!

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TINAJANE76 11/24/2013 7:30AM

    I can relate to so much of what you've written here and, based on the great comments you've received so far, so can many others. I think we carry around the "weight" of being heavy much longer than the story our physical appearance tells. The often diminished self confidence we felt when we were heavier doesn't just transform itself overnight as we physically lose weight. So much of our identity is wrapped up in who we were as heavy people--hence the fear connected to not being that heavy person anymore and feeling unsure of who we are with our new bodies and the image they project. It takes a long time for our heads to catch up with our bodies and I think our self sabotage is sometimes a symptom of that. It's as if we literally can't cope with the idea of being thinner, healthier people because that's never (or rarely) been our norm. And as you're experiencing now, motivation waxes and wanes. That just seems to be life. The important thing is to ride out our periods of diminished motivation when every little thing seems so darn tough until things start to pick up for us again. These low periods are probably not the best times to be setting lofty goals for ourselves, but that doesn't mean we should throw in the towel altogether.

Stick to what you know works for you, stay connected here, be a little more forgiving of your slips and just keep getting back up on that horse. Eventually it will become easier and you'll be able to blast through that last bit of weight. I know it seems hard, but what's the alternative? Going back to where you were? That, in the end, would be much, much harder. I know you've got it in you to do this and to push through your recent difficulties. I have no doubt that you'll be back to your happy place in no time.

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CARRIELYN56 11/24/2013 7:26AM

    Good "self-dialogue" and recognition of your feelings.... then you can let the fear go & dive in. emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 11/24/2013 7:24AM

  That was perfect for ME! Thanks for seeing MY bad behavior and pointing it out to me. You are an INSPIRATION!

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CFMOSS 11/24/2013 7:22AM

    Well...if you think you are only giving yourself a lecture, I'm thinking that you may have missed it; rather I think you have put into words what many of us on this healthy living road experience....again...and again....and again. It seems like once we get so far, it should be easy, but it isn't because we still have to deal with who we are and we make progress but we haven't arrived. I'm thinking that I'll never "arrive" rather I'm in progress and the best thing I can do for myself is to continue to move (hopefully in the desired direction) Here's to progress in the right direction.

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CHERIONE 11/24/2013 7:17AM

    Thanks. This was perfect for me...

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BESSHAILE 11/24/2013 7:15AM

    No surprise how this became a featured member blog today. It rang a number of bells - with truth and grace. It took me a whole year to lose the last 5 lbs and in 9 months of maintenance, 2 of them have hopped back on for a week or so. Maintenance is hard and fear of failing at it ... especially after a big loss - is totally intimidating. And the truth is - you might not keep the weight off - though I bet you'll keep most of it off. But I promise you - you will NEVER EVER EVER be too late to start all over again. Every step in the direction of good health is a good step to take.

I think you should not try to lose one ounce between now and January. Maintenance should be your mantra. Practice being at maintenance for 2 months or 6 weeks or whatever works for you. Call it - an internship.


I don't respond well to most goals/rewards efforts - but for short term - like through a family and food filled holiday season - they really work for me. So, why not pick some other goal - like:

Try to take a whole 30 minutes to eat breakfast
or Let's see if I can go to 5 parties in a row without drinking any alcohol
or How many days in a row can I get in 30 minutes of exercise

and then totally reward yourself for making one of those goals.

And here's your first reward - from me! emoticon

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TRYINGHARD54 11/24/2013 7:14AM

    emoticon

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CHICAT63 11/24/2013 7:06AM

    So well said my friend, great blog !!!! Myself I always wonder whey I am not at goal yet, should have been? would I be if things were different *big sigh*. Life is filled of should have, could have, maybe haves *lol*. Thanks for the inspiration and continued support, big hug !!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERYLP461 11/24/2013 6:55AM

    Fantastic blog, I think I understand where you are. Put off the tummy tuck if it is scary, most remember what you have already accomplished, how proud you are. You are worthy of reaching your goals, boost your self image. Take a spa day it always makes on feel beautiful!

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RUNNERRACHEL 11/24/2013 6:23AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HAPPYMENOW58 11/24/2013 4:54AM

    Great blog! You are going to get through this! You are on your way.......Keep on plugging, girl! emoticon emoticon

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EBONYSOL 11/24/2013 4:20AM

    Seems to me that you are trying to do a lot of this hard work on your own. When you think you are going to fall off the rails call a friend, get on the computer and connect with one of your Spark friends, or if you believe in a Higher Power then pray. You don't have to go it alone. Help is there; reach out.

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JIBBIE49 11/24/2013 2:16AM

    Great to see your blog featured.

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WEBEZE 11/24/2013 12:54AM

    emoticon emoticon
Once you find the answers to why you are so afraid to make you goal weight, you will finally unlock the path to success. I am rooting for you my young friend. Your life is so worth it to be healthy and unburdened by extra pounds. I carried mine way to long. Over 20 years.

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_CYNDY55_ 11/24/2013 12:36AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MLJSPARK 11/23/2013 11:52PM

    I know you said this post was written for you but boy it totally hit me right in the feels. So much of this is stuff I could/should have said to myself at various times. I spent a few weeks recently doing a pretty terrible job of keeping myself on track. I've now been doing good for about a week and I really hope I make it stick. I am also getting close to goal, only about 15 more pounds and somehow that makes me freak out and sabotage myself. And I still let entire days go down the drain because of snacking after one large meal that didn't even break the calorie bank. I so appreciate you sharing your struggles, you are still in this fight and I know you can make it through! emoticon emoticon

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TOKIEMOON 11/23/2013 10:27PM

    I agree that weight loss require CONSISTENETLY making good choices. Unfortunately for me, I don't appear to want it bad enough right now. But you sound serious - Good Luck staying the course!

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SNOWYOGA 11/23/2013 9:10PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/23/2013 8:41PM

    Ok . . . you told yourself, you know what to do, you know how to do it. All that's left is to DO IT! You CAN!

You're so right about not sabotaging yourself because of future plans. NOTHING is written in stone, and you may well change your mind down the road about surgery. Who knows! So, just focus on today. That's all we have control of and we should give it our best. You ARE!

HUGS

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YHINESS 11/23/2013 6:34PM

    I'm just coming out the other side of a pitty party I threw for myself last week and boy could I have used your words in the blog back then. Having pulled myself through I found that a dropped 1 pound and it was I think the proudest pound I dropped yet. I was teetering on the tracks and felt myself slipping off. I said some really kind things to myself along with a firm "knock it off", and here I am seeing the light again today. Hang in there. You're really doing awesome and you will have tons of support at goal just like now.

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GEORGE815 11/23/2013 5:42PM

    Find your happy place.

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ADVENTURESEEKER 11/23/2013 5:07PM

    I hear ya. Lunch with your grams and the dessert bit- that's the SAME way I fall apart every time as well. The whole- F it! mentality. Arg! You will snap out of it. I know you will.
10 lbs is easy to put on, but takes a good month to take off if diligent.

Plan to not go out for 3 weeks after this weekend? Just hole yourself away eating on plan without any outside distractions. Go out and all, just not for dinners or desserts, you know? Just say 'sorry, I just can't this weekend/tomorrow/etc.' Which is worse- not having dinner out with friends/family next weekend or gaining 10 lbs? Just until you can wrap your head around it again. The friends are still there and you may even choose to do other things with them. Just an idea of something that has worked for me in the past.


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MILMOM2000NEW 11/23/2013 5:02PM

    Girl, you can do this! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER and stop having those "bad" days! You can do this! I know you can! :)


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PIGGYWAY 11/23/2013 4:31PM

  cute

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FLMOMX2 11/23/2013 4:11PM

    I love your talks to yourself. They are a great encourager for myself. emoticon

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AMARILYNH 11/23/2013 3:56PM

    You've made me smile again. You know yourself SO well. You touch so many lives here because we've all been there and are still on our own journeys. Listen to yourself - you give very good advice!! I have nothing to add so I'll just leave you with a hug!! emoticon

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