Friday, November 22, 2013
It's been just a bit over two months since I posted the eulogy that I wrote for my mother's memorial service. I've experienced the two months as a period of healing, allowing myself to experience the grief and loss, to acknowledge the pain, but to do so with awareness, a feeling of detachment that is at once intimate and consoling. The yellow scarf that she knitted for me earlier this year reminds me of her love, a feeling that doesn't evaporate or disappear with her physical presence. Her spiritual presence from beyond her death lives comfortably and comfortingly in my heart. I don't need to make a conscious effort to cling to my memories or feelings about her. They come to visit when I need them, especially when I'm not conscious of my need, like a dream that reassures me that life goes on, a dance of joy and sorrow, and all is as it needs to be.