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    STEPH-KNEE   70,505
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The Epic Battle of Good Vs. Evil & 20 Month Sparkaversary...

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Wednesday, November 20, 2013



When there were 49 days left in the year, I decided I would classify each day as good or bad based on my eating... I am now thinking I should rename the bad days evil days, just because it sounds more adorable! I also went ahead and marked 7, YES 7 "free days". This included Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve and 2 of my 7 days in Vegas. I hoped that by feeling like I had a lot of "freedom" coming up that I would really push it to work harder on the other days. Well... it hasn't quite started off like I hoped. My only goal was to have more good days than bad at the end of the year. It sounded simple enough... I originally wanted a streak, but I have been struggling lately so that sounded too overwhelming.

Here's a recap so far:

Day 1: emoticon
Day 2: emoticon
Day 3: emoticon
Day 4: emoticon
Day 5: emoticon
Day 6: emoticon
Day 7: emoticon

As you can see, it's neck and neck with evil slightly in the lead! Still plenty of time to turn it around. My biggest obstacle at the moment is not letting the most recent evil day turn into a cluster. If I can have one evil day for every 3 good days, I will hit my goal with flying colors. My goal is to have the evil days be just one at a time, and to get farther and farther apart. I am learning that there is always going to be bumps in the road, but they can be fewer and farther between.

Day 7 was just awful, in every sense of the word. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong! emoticon As I was telling my Dad about some of it, he sarcastically said "Yep, I get it, the world is out to get you" and I very seriously responded "Yes, you finally understand!" That is how it felt today. I have no excuses for reacting by eating... everyone has bad days, and most people don't need to turn to food just because they have had a stressful day. I am an emotional/stress eater and it is an on going thing I deal with. Sometimes I have it under control, and sometimes I lose to it, this was obviously a battle I lost. But all I can do is learn from it and move forward. Maybe I need to take my learning a little more seriously though LOL. ;)

I also looked into my records, and this is a rough time of year for me (as it is for MANY). I lost no weight last year from Halloween through the end of January. I maintained within a 5 pound range. I started losing again in February but hit another bump in the road in April. It amazes me how much time on this journey I have spent struggling, it doesn't feel like that long. I guess I have blocked out some of the bad times, and there were also a lot of good times to compensate for those bad ones. At the time I remember feeling like a failure, maintaining within 5 pounds instead of losing. I remember being frustrated and upset with myself... but now that I have a little perspective, I think that's pretty darn good. To maintain within a 5 pound range during the holidays and to never give up and to continue to push towards my goals. Now don't get it twisted, I am not saying that so if I maintain through the holidays this year I can say "oh that's okay"... I am really making an effort to lose during the holidays, but at least I know this is my weakest time of year, and I am realizing it is going to take even more work than it usually does. EEK!

emoticon So I am that totally obnoxious girl who keeps referencing how long I've been on my weight loss journey. emoticon It is not to be like "oh look at me, this is how long I've been doing this!" It's to remind me that this journey is different than all my previous weight loss attempts, and to see how long I have been doing this without giving up. I have had TONS of previous weight loss attempts, and none lasted more than 3 months. I have actually been on Spark People off and on since 2009, but it has been 20 consistent months on this journey and logging into Spark almost everyday. Each time I feel like throwing in the towel, I have to remind myself how long and how hard I've been working.I don't want to throw away all that time and work just because "I don't feel like it". So that is a huge NSV for me, to still be here and still fighting for what I want.. and boy has it been a fight lately! emoticon My other NSV was taking a picture of myself and actually liking it and choosing to post it as my profile picture. I remember the day of taking 29 pictures and not liking any of them. I would either not post any at all or I would find the one that wasn't "as bad" as the other. It was such a fresh breath of air to look at a picture I just took and not cringe at the results! So even though I have been having a rough time with my eating, and I am struggling, I can still say I am feeling pretty happy lately and life is pretty good! It's good to be reminded that our happiness should not be linked to our weight or that horrible scale!

I hope everyone has a fabulous day! And here's to making Day 8 a good day! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORIVIOLA 4/11/2014 10:05PM

    emoticon make it a good day!

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GRAMPIAN 1/31/2014 6:20AM

  You're doing well. emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 12/27/2013 11:56PM

    Love the blog and you will make it

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MCJULIEO 12/17/2013 1:22PM

    You are not paranoid if the world really IS out to get you!
emoticon emoticon

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MRSRIGS1 12/7/2013 12:55PM

    I see you as a WINNER! You keep going and going and going cuz you CAN do it! emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 12/2/2013 12:02PM

    emoticon

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LADYSHERRY 11/27/2013 3:09PM

    what is NSV? Good blog emoticon

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KALEWINE 11/24/2013 7:33PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LEANMEAN2 11/24/2013 6:12AM

    Thanks for sharing. We all understand.

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DOLPHINLADY05 11/23/2013 9:18AM

    I really like your story... thanks for sharing!! I have finally learned, this time around, that sometimes those NSVs are the things that will continue to motivate me to keep moving forward with my weight loss journey. I hope you truly enjoy your holidays and that you continue to have awesome successes whether it's through more weight loss or NSVs.

Hugs,
Lori

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CICELY360 11/22/2013 8:26PM

  Good blog

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SUPERDAD55 11/22/2013 7:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I just love your humor, to use emoticon
and emoticon as a tracking tool is a very smart idea.
I love your humor, Keep the faith and emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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JRRING 11/22/2013 4:54PM

  emoticon

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DRPEPPIE121 11/22/2013 3:41PM

    HUZZAH!!! What a good story.

It IS a journey. It is different for us all! I lost 60 pounds between 2005 and 2006...and I've gained (in about 3 years time) 45 of that back! Talk about UGH! It IS a journey...and we'll be doing this together on SP!

Keep it up! Do YOUR BEST. Make it a goal to get moving more during this season...so that way you have something to feel amazing about on the days that your eating might not be so grand. DO YOUR BEST.

YOU.
CAN.
DO.
IT.

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ALI_AFTER 11/22/2013 3:15PM

    You're still here! That is what counts, right?

Haha, I laughed at the evil vampire. What a perfect emoticon for an evil day - sucking away your motivation....;)

Anyway, great blog! You got this.

emoticon

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SLIMMINGSHAY 11/22/2013 2:57PM

    Love the NSV! Great job and kudos for not giving in! You can do it ! You're doing awesome.

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NEWTINK 11/22/2013 2:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 11/22/2013 12:53PM

  emoticon

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JRTITTLE 11/22/2013 10:50AM

  Happy anniversary! emoticon

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ANNABELLISABEL 11/22/2013 10:50AM

    Continuing on IS indeed the most important thing, I would not be where I am now if I had not given up time and time again. So this time will be different and with any luck I will still be on this journey 20 months from now. Thanks for being so honest. :)

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SPARKBJOK 11/22/2013 9:48AM

    You can do it!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 11/22/2013 1:49AM

    emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 11/22/2013 12:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 11/21/2013 11:51PM

  Thank goodness there is always a Day 8 ahead of us to give us promise of another NSV!

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HIMELISSA2007 11/21/2013 11:46PM

    I think i need to figure out these days for me and the pattern too. Youre an inspiration to us. Thank you.

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SUGAR0814 11/21/2013 11:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KITTYCAT64 11/21/2013 10:17PM

    I love your good and evil day.. I call mine perfect day. I have a list of things that if I accomplish,, I feel great. You keep going. You are the best and such an inspiration. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 11/21/2013 9:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I fully understand about being put on hold or as we call it, a plateau! I am on and off many times each yr and can still keep the losses going. Slow but steady or slow and sure gets us where we set our goal for. Hang in and keep up the good work!!


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CLAYARTIST 11/21/2013 9:52PM

  emoticon

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SUSIEMT 11/21/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon I think you are doing a great job. Keep it up and soon
the good days will outweigh those evil days!

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JMARIES51 11/21/2013 8:42PM

    emoticon emoticon Love your plan of the free days. That must make you feel an amount of freedom.

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SPARKLINGME176 11/21/2013 8:05PM

    Fabulous blog! Thanks!

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SCHADWE 11/21/2013 6:18PM

    emoticon We all have to work hard during the holidays, no matter what time of year they are.

But you have the power and the commitment. Keep it going and I know those positive days will outweigh the bad.

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PATRICIAANN46 11/21/2013 5:13PM

  You are doing a wonderful Job. Keep up your fantastic attitude and the good days will definitely outnumber the bad. I wish you the emoticon

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DIANNEMT 11/21/2013 5:05PM

    This is a rough time for ALL OF US! So--you are doing great!

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CORNERKICK 11/21/2013 2:27PM

  emoticon

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LCRUMLEY81 11/21/2013 2:23PM

  keep up the great outlook...its hard but so worth it

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ROCKYCPA 11/21/2013 2:19PM

    What a great way to track how you are doing - I am sure in the end the good will win over the evil. You can do it!

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NONNAOF2 11/21/2013 2:11PM

  You're not going through this journey alone, we all go through it each and every day, there will always be obstacles to over come, but you are doing great, just keep moving ahead! :-)

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MOVEITMARY 11/21/2013 12:53PM

    You have hit on the key - climbing back out of the hole when one "evil day" has turned into a string of them.

And that's why we are here on SP... sometimes we need a little help... and that's OK.
emoticon

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SUPERSYLPH 11/21/2013 12:24PM

    emoticon

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NIKKIJ55 11/21/2013 11:52AM

    You are doing an awesome job and will be able to sustain it! emoticon

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TRUNKJUNK 11/21/2013 11:49AM

    Steph
I believe your good days will outweigh your bad days. I have faith in you

emoticon emoticon

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LSIG14 11/21/2013 11:47AM

  I love the idea of using icons to graphically illustrate patterns although I hesitate to call them "evil days.' I guess I would call them great days and less successful days since I am really working on my negative self-talk! Thanks for sharing your countdown calendar - maybe I'll set one up on my fridge right now - with stickers!!!

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TRUNKJUNK 11/21/2013 11:47AM

    Steph
I believe your good days will outweigh your evil days. I have faith in you

emoticon emoticon

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LOOD1962 11/21/2013 11:46AM

    emoticon emoticon Have a emoticon day.

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TAYGRL 11/21/2013 11:46AM

    I think you have the best attitude EVah. It is very much like my own so I find myself reverberating your sentiments on a regular basis. Thanks for keeping it real!

emoticon



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SDEHNKE 11/21/2013 11:35AM

    I don't look at this journey as having a beginning and an end. I think that's where I've fallen off the path before. I have to fight this fight for the rest of my life. I'm tired of losing 30, 40, or 50 pounds and putting it back on. I even lost 90 pounds once and was in tremendous shape and then gave up again. Here's to many more Spark Anniversaries! emoticon That means we haven't given up!

Suellen


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THOMS1 11/21/2013 11:30AM

    I think you are doing a great job. Keep it up and soon the good days will outweigh those so called evil days. emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 11/21/2013 11:25AM

    emoticon

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