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What he REALLY said ...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Thanks to all who gave me your insights on yesterday's blog. I appreciated it all: there is a lot of collective wisdom out there and thank you for sharing it with me.

I think those of you who suggested that there was a larger context at play were spot on. This guy is well known in the department for stabbing people in the back, so even before he opened his mouth it was true that I wasn't overly fond of him and that I didn't quite trust his intentions.

I also think that those of you who suggested I was having a bad day were right was well. Not that day in particular, but it is that time of the semester when all of us - faculty and students - are feeling the stress. If I am to be honest, I will acknowledge that this guy is also under stress.

But the revelation for me came this morning when I woke up and realized that I misreported what he said to me. It came to me that what he really said was not

"You look like you've lost weight."

but instead

"You look like you're losing weight AGAIN."

And I guess my subconscious brain picked up on the negative implications of that "again" .... as in "I've seen you do this before and gain it back." And that irritated me.

Which brings me to my last set thank-you's. To PAPAMIKE, HEALTHIERKEN, BATCHICK and the others who suggested that I assume the best when interpreting someone else's remarks, let me say thank you so much. That is what I do when I'm at my best and it is the kind of person I always aspire to be. As you see, I don't always meet those standards, but I keep plugging away at it.

So, I'm going to assume the best about this guy's remarks, and even if I'm wrong about that, I'm going to keep the weight off this time. Heck, in a little while, I'll be thinner than this guy!

Spark on, my friends.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    597 days ago
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    1551 days ago
  • STR458
    emoticon emoticon YaaaaaY !!
    1551 days ago
    Thanks for the shout out emoticon
    I know that is easier said than done, but we here at sparkpeople are better than most...
    1551 days ago
    Yeah, that puts a different spin on the conversation! Good for you for recognizing the role stress plays in the environment, and for looking at ways to bring yourself to a more positive rendering of the situation! We can take what others give us and put it to good use, no matter what the intention of the giver was.
    1551 days ago
  • DO4FIT
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    You my friend truly have a way with words. I hope the semester ends on a high note for you! Glad you were able to turn things around.
    1552 days ago
    I say don't worry so much about a bad comment from an obvious jerk. Life is to precious to worry about some nut's bad behavior. He sounds like an insecure person who probably knows he is incompetent at his job as most backstabbers are..
    1552 days ago
    Aha! That does change the story a lot!!!

    I moved to Indiana...so no walks in Arlington for us, unfortunately.
    1552 days ago
    You are having success and you should be proud of what you have accomplished, no one can take that away from you. WTG on thinking this all through and taking the higher road.

    1552 days ago
    Ooh, that "again" certainly would piss me off too! But I'm glad that you're a thoughtful person and I appreciated reading both blogs.

    All my best to you, my dancing (and walking) friend!
    1552 days ago
    I didn't read the other one but I can imagine how I'd feel- as I've lost the weight before and put it back on and am taking it off AGAIN. :) I have decided to just be proud of myself in the fact that I AM taking it back off and that I have no intentions of putting it on again to have to take it off again this time.
    Sounds like you have a good way of looking at your journey too.
    1552 days ago
    Yes! You and I are going to keep it off this time. You'll show him!! as I will show some equivalent personalities in my life. Makes success even sweeter. That "again" was really snarly. No wonder you were miffed. Best wishes.
    1552 days ago
    I missed yesterday's Blog and I'm sorry I did. So here's my two cents worth. People spend at least 80 percent of the time thinking about themselves. And when they notice someone else, what comes out of their mouths is usually without much thought behind it. Since this guy is a known back-stabber, you might consider whether he just likes to say mean things (some people do) or just doesn't think first and speak after. If the first, ignore him. He's mean to everyone and why let him push your buttons? If the second, you may want to consider a snappy rejoinder. Or just ignore it. After all, why let someone like that ruin your day - good or bad??

    As someone who seems to lose weight only to regain it (although never as much as I lost thank goodness) I have to put up with a lot of commenting on my changeable body size. My snappy comeback is simply what Anne McCaffrey used to say: brown hair, green eyes, the rest changes without notice.
    1552 days ago
    This is quite different then you said in your other blog that I just left my two cents on. The word AGAIN is insulting and I too would be miffed by it. He wanted to put a dig into you. I would not give him the satisfaction to know it bothered me so I would of smiled and said yes I am as I walk away.
    1552 days ago
    Sometimes people don't know how to give a compliment. I went back and read your other post and some of the comments.

    Years ago, I had a coworker say to me, "If you keep losing weight, we are going to have to put you in an anorexia clinic." I think there was some competition because we all were trying to lose weight. Maybe it was meant to be a compliment. But I sure took it the wrong way. Always stuck with me.
    1552 days ago
    The ultimate vengeance is success!
    Best to you!
    1552 days ago
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