Last night I went in for my follow up appointment with the doctor to get the results of my bloodwork and to weigh in after 2 months. During my initial appointment in September, she asked me if I had considered bariatric surgery and I freaked. It was indeed a wake up call. I could no longer ignore that my morbid obesity is dangerous enough to my health that extreme measures needed to be considered. This was not a personal affront to me. It was simply FACT. I KNEW that I had to stop talking about losing the weight and finally DO IT. I assured her that I did not need surgery and that I could and would lose the weight on my own. She was responsive to this and I suggested that I come back in two months to evaluate my progress and she agreed. I would have my boodwork done the week before the follow up and we would then assess where I was.
So...for the last two months I have been trying really, really hard. I have not been perfect, but I have been consistent. I have been focusing on fresh, nutrient dense foods and generally avoiding processed foods. I have increased my exercise and have been drinking water. I also have dramatically cut down on the artificial sweeteners. I was shocked at how much artificial sweeteners were feeding my crazy sugar cravings.
I was feeling somewhat disappointed about the progress I had made. I truly expected to lose more weight but I guess it just does not come off as quickly as it used to when I was younger. By my estimation, as of Saturday at my weigh in I had lost 9 pounds in two months. Not great, but I'll take it. At least it is moving in the right direction and I DID hit the lowest weight I have been at in probably THREE YEARS when I hit 255.8. Well guess what? I went to a fundraiser dinner Saturday night and had a few drinks, dinner and dessert and jumped up FOUR POUNDS overnight. Of course this was fluid. I know that. I did not stuff myself, but I ate things that I have not been eating that I am sure had a lot of sodium. Knowing I had my appointment on Monday, I kept my calories at the low end of my range on Sunday, drank my water went for a walk and later went on an hour long hike with a good amount of hills. I figured that would bring me back down. I got on the scale yesterday morning and freaked because I was still up four pounds.
I was so upset yesterday morning and of course was dreading my doctors appointment. I did my first emotional eating in a very long time. I stopped at Hardee's and got an egg and cheese biscuit and a large hash rounds. 970 calories and 62 grams of fat. Stupid. I know. Who eats something like THAT the day of a weigh in appointment? Me. That's who. felt like I was going to the principal's office and I was freaking out because I felt like the progress I had made in the last too months was not "good enough".
I could barely concentrate at work all day long. I was so nervous before I left work that I took a Xanax because I was on the verge of a panic attack (I rarely take these. I have a prescription for 10 pills that last me for a year. I save them for "emergencies"). I check in and her nurse weighs me and I see that my loss is going to register only 5 pounds (because that pesky 4 pounds is still hanging on). I go into the exam room and await what I am sure will amount to a lecture.
To my utter shock, she is very pleased with my progress! She tells me slow and steady is healthy and that my numbers are not just good, they are GREAT. My cholesterol went from 241 to 203 and my triglycerides are very good! Sugars, enzymes, etc. all are in the normal ranges! She said the my LDL is good and that it will continue to improve with exercise. I was so happy and relieved. She asked if 2 months is good for me to come back since the holidays are coming and I said yes. She asked me how I plan to handle the holidays since they are a challenge and I told her I am going to continue to plan ahead and stick with it. I will indulge in what I really want, but in moderation.
So there you have it. I needlessly worried myself. I am so stinking happy and motivated right now. She is only looking for 5 pounds every two months. I KNOW I can meet that challenge and then some.