Tuesday, November 19, 2013
I've really been struggling since last Friday. I'm having a hard time partly cause I'm missing one of my meds. It keeps me awake. I feel out of sorts and sleep a lot. Things are out of my control and I don't know how to handle it. I've been eating whatever cause I haven't been able to get out the store and these last few days I just can't eat one more salad.
Thanksgiving is becoming a project this year. Not cooking but where I'll end up. It's not really my choice i have to go where everyone or someone else goes or doesn't go. My youngest daughter was pushing me to go with her older sister to her fiance's parents house which is fine. They are lovely people and I know I'd have a good time though I want all of us together. The youngest didn't want to go because of food issues and where we'd be going the hostess is pushy and expects you to eat everything she makes. She's not mean or anything but watches. Might be culture. It doesn't bother me. So, now the older sister has gotten a seasonal job that has her working on Thanksgiving and now I have to stay here with my youngest and her hubby which again is fine but I get the impression that they wanted to be alone now I feel in the way in my own home. My heart is breaking right now. I know that non of them would want me to feel this way but it's how I feel. It'll be ok. I know I'll be where God wants me and that's what matters. Sometimes being single I feel alone in my family. But, I have God's family and all of you. Thank you. I'm ok.