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I'm back in the game!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since my last blog entry. I guess it's been about three weeks now. Not to get "too" into it, but my mood has just been really lousy lately overall, I've been under lots of stress, my diet and exercise plan was just all shot to hell. I was feeling really badly about myself and wasn't sure what to do about it. I didn't WANT to stay overweight and miserable, but I was feeling very apprehensive about starting over, yet again. My recidivism rate is 100% at this point, so the notion of a "fresh start" seemed both illogical and fruitless. But...I know in my heart I won't be happy if I completely give up...and I'll only continue to gain weight.


At 212 pounds, the highest I've ever weighed in my life, I decided last night to start doing something about this. At this point, I really feel like I'm out of excuses. The one thing my 10-12 year struggle with this has taught me, is that I have all answers. I have learned SO much about nutrition, and exercise, and how MY body reacts to certain foods and exercises. I have done the difficult, painful, and freeing work of figuring out WHY I overeat and eat the wrong things so much. I discovered that not only am I an emotional eater, I discovered how I got to that place as well. I know what to do and I know what not to do. I also have the support of family and friends. At this point, I really feel like an expert. Like I said, I honestly have no excuses. The part that I have consistent trouble with, are the HABITS. I have the hardest time ever changing those habits.

So today, I started on a (somewhat) new path. I decided to do a few things differently, no matter how much I despise them. Counting calories for one thing. I haaaate to count calories. It's just such a giant pain in the butt. However, I know I must do it so that I know how many calories I'm eating/drinking. For another thing, I have to really watch what I eat/drink. I love to come home from work and have a couple glasses of wine, for instance. So I hid the wine in my pantry/laundry room. I'm going to hit the gym after work, instead of the bottle. That's a much better way to relieve stress and tension. Also on my list are making sure I'm drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and using positive forms of stress relief (meditation, hot tea, long showers, exercise, reading, sex...hey, it works!)

Here's my wrap-up of today. I ate really well. I honestly don't have any complaints or regrets. I also told myself I would go to the gym, and I did. I was hoping I could get a Pre-Cor (elliptical) machine, and I did. I wanted to do 30 minutes and burn 300 calories. I did 33, which included a cool-down, and I burned 360 calories. Lastly, and most importantly, I feel like since I woke up this morning, my mood and attitude about this whole situation has been much improved. It was just a good day, all in all, and I haven't had a day like this in a while.


PS. I find it funny that Sparkpeople's spell-checker detects "blog" as a misspelled word...and "Sparkpeople."

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great!! It is well with you!!
    1519 days ago
    Good choices! emoticon Don't give up! emoticon
    1519 days ago
    I am glad to hear you are still in the game. I understand the not wanting to count calories, but you're right, it is so important. I just got myself started again the other day. It is so much easier to bury my head but, like you say, I just gain more weight. Tiny daily steps will take us to where we want to go. Take those few steps daily until it feels like you want to do more and you feel like those steps are coming natural to you. I made 3 little goals and when I get better at them, I will add 1 or 2 more. SLow and steady will take us where we want to go. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1519 days ago
    Good Job! I really find it super irritating to track too, but I have discovered that if I don't track the things that I eat, they magically disappear from my memory, and every day is delightful and rosy until the end of the week when I step on the scale. Then i'm flabbergasted because I imagine myself eating healthy all week. Writing it all down is the kick in the pants you need sometimes. I find it too easy to let a 1 cookie snack turn into a 3 cookie pig out if I don't make myself accountable for each one.

    Sadly for me I think this means that I will have to continue tracking for pretty much the rest of my days, because I know even when I finally reach my goal weight (A long way off yet) I will still lie to myself about what I've eaten if I don't continue to write it down.

    emoticon emoticon
    1519 days ago
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