Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since my last blog entry. I guess it's been about three weeks now. Not to get "too" into it, but my mood has just been really lousy lately overall, I've been under lots of stress, my diet and exercise plan was just all shot to hell. I was feeling really badly about myself and wasn't sure what to do about it. I didn't WANT to stay overweight and miserable, but I was feeling very apprehensive about starting over, yet again. My recidivism rate is 100% at this point, so the notion of a "fresh start" seemed both illogical and fruitless. But...I know in my heart I won't be happy if I completely give up...and I'll only continue to gain weight.
At 212 pounds, the highest I've ever weighed in my life, I decided last night to start doing something about this. At this point, I really feel like I'm out of excuses. The one thing my 10-12 year struggle with this has taught me, is that I have all answers. I have learned SO much about nutrition, and exercise, and how MY body reacts to certain foods and exercises. I have done the difficult, painful, and freeing work of figuring out WHY I overeat and eat the wrong things so much. I discovered that not only am I an emotional eater, I discovered how I got to that place as well. I know what to do and I know what not to do. I also have the support of family and friends. At this point, I really feel like an expert. Like I said, I honestly have no excuses. The part that I have consistent trouble with, are the HABITS. I have the hardest time ever changing those habits.
So today, I started on a (somewhat) new path. I decided to do a few things differently, no matter how much I despise them. Counting calories for one thing. I haaaate to count calories. It's just such a giant pain in the butt. However, I know I must do it so that I know how many calories I'm eating/drinking. For another thing, I have to really watch what I eat/drink. I love to come home from work and have a couple glasses of wine, for instance. So I hid the wine in my pantry/laundry room. I'm going to hit the gym after work, instead of the bottle. That's a much better way to relieve stress and tension. Also on my list are making sure I'm drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and using positive forms of stress relief (meditation, hot tea, long showers, exercise, reading, sex...hey, it works!)
Here's my wrap-up of today. I ate really well. I honestly don't have any complaints or regrets. I also told myself I would go to the gym, and I did. I was hoping I could get a Pre-Cor (elliptical) machine, and I did. I wanted to do 30 minutes and burn 300 calories. I did 33, which included a cool-down, and I burned 360 calories. Lastly, and most importantly, I feel like since I woke up this morning, my mood and attitude about this whole situation has been much improved. It was just a good day, all in all, and I haven't had a day like this in a while.
PS. I find it funny that Sparkpeople's spell-checker detects "blog" as a misspelled word...and "Sparkpeople."