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The Failure Feeling.

Monday, November 18, 2013

That is what I feel. I have been struggling with getting back my mojo on why I want to lose weight. Reasons are the same. I still want it but for some reason I want junk more right now. I don’t drink or do drugs and the junk is my only vice. It’s like I’m angry to know I have to give up that, but who am I really hurting with all this self sabotage. Me that is who. So why do I keep doing this to myself? I don’t really feel good when I eat the junk. It’s more like I’m punishing myself while eating. Yes, it tastes good while going down but my gosh I feel bad at same time. I find myself just binging way too much. Like if it’s there I have to eat it. Like I’m going on a desert island or something. So here I am rambling on a blog and back on Sparkpeople to search for inspiration. Baby steps back once again. One day I pray that I will stop starting over on this journey so I can get onto my next one.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hello Sheri ,
    I dont really know what to say to encourage you as lm in the same boat , but l would like to encourage you and myself to keep our eyes on our goals , when we mess up get up and keep on the road to our goals we're learning and we will make it as a team
    your a winner and so are l , in a way we're at war new allies against obesity we're fighting to get victory and gain better health and weightloss we may lose battles from
    time to time but with encouragement and support and the hard work we need to put in we will win the war.
    Keep at it Champ you are a winner and will have victory .
    1314 days ago
    Hear you ladies! I was there until dh wanted to try this paleo challenge. Even after he first talked about it I told him I didn't know because I didn't want to give things up. Figured it would be to hard. I was shocked to find that I'm not craving the sweet and salty junk that I use too. If I do want something a little salty I have nuts or a dill pickle spear. I'm was proud that I passed up pizza today at work for a going away luncheon. I packed a salad and some chicken strips instead. Also didn't have any cheesecake for my girlfriends birthday celebration either. I didn't even feel the craving for either. I told my gf that the pizza she brought into the baby room smelt good but the need to go get a piece wasn't there. I'm not doing a 100% on this paleo challenge. I have had a diet coke per day since starting the challenge (except maybe once or twice), I had a non-paleo lunch yesterday at Panera Bread of potato soup and bread, but had a paleo breakfast and dinner. Will be having a couple beers tonight that are not paleo either. I plan on cleaning out my pantry this week while off work for Thanksgiving. Paleo has been a little more expensive on start up supplies but I'm finding it fun to cook meals from pretty much scratch but not enjoying the amount of pots and pans that I'm washing. I figure it will get easier planning meals and making them as the weeks go on.
    Maybe you need to find a challenge for yourselves.
    I've been saying to myself "this is a way I choice to eat for now" might change back later might keep it up for a long time.
    I do need to get back to working out. I haven't since last week. Over on another thread I'm on we are doing a holiday challenge. Water, Exercise, Tracking Food (writing down what we eat), and one extra item of our choice. My extra is 1 fruit/2 veggies a day. Each item gets us 1 pt. on Fridays when we weigh in if we lose over 1 lb we get 5 pts. At the end of the challenge the one with the most wins.
    If you two want to do something like that we could.
    I know it is hard to get the mojo back. I wasn't feeling it before dh brought up the challenge from his CrossFit. Might still not have it back if it wasn't for that and the holiday challenge on the other thread.

    1576 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/22/2013 8:58:10 AM
    Sheri, I feel the same way. I stress eat. I also binge at night and my portion control is out of control. I'm just trying to decide if I want to do another gym membership. they have a really good one near me. it would be perfect because I could drop my kids off in the morning and go there. it's just last time I got bored. here as of late, i've been eating apples. someone told me once if you eat an apple before a meal that it would help. we shall see. i'm not drinking the water either because it makes me go potty. i hate running to the potty all the time. my body never adjusted. i'm taking one thing at a time. i've gained quite a bit her as of late. i was almost down to my ideal weight but i let life get the better of me.
    1577 days ago
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