The Failure Feeling.
Monday, November 18, 2013
That is what I feel. I have been struggling with getting back my mojo on why I want to lose weight. Reasons are the same. I still want it but for some reason I want junk more right now. I don’t drink or do drugs and the junk is my only vice. It’s like I’m angry to know I have to give up that, but who am I really hurting with all this self sabotage. Me that is who. So why do I keep doing this to myself? I don’t really feel good when I eat the junk. It’s more like I’m punishing myself while eating. Yes, it tastes good while going down but my gosh I feel bad at same time. I find myself just binging way too much. Like if it’s there I have to eat it. Like I’m going on a desert island or something. So here I am rambling on a blog and back on Sparkpeople to search for inspiration. Baby steps back once again. One day I pray that I will stop starting over on this journey so I can get onto my next one.