For the first time, writing my weekly update isn't coming easily to me. We'll see where things go - maybe I have something I don't want to face?
Last week's physical goals were:
Aerobic - 20 minutes
Strengthening - 10 minutes
Stretching (very necessary for me!) - 5 minutes
Done! In fact, on one day, I did 30 minutes of aerobic rather than 20! Go me! Straight to the stiff/reluctant joint pain!
While going up 10 minutes may not seem like much, increasing by 30% in one session really is. But, I'm living through the result, and will strive to learn my lesson about increasing in baby steps.
For eating, I used the bikini drawing on my plate
I tend to eat vegetarian - probably 90% of the time - so I combined my dairy and protein into one triangle, have grain in another, then vegetable and fruit in the bottom. You can see the shape as a smile if you'd prefer.
Anyway, I did very well with eating what I need to throughout the work week, although I really have to think about the vegetables most days. It's not that I dislike vegetables, it just takes more thought for me.
Friday evening my husband made some "authentic American-style Chinese food" (I'm sure what we eat here in America is not the same as true Chinese foods!), and I had some, but kept my servings quite small. Still more calories than I needed, I'm sure, but not unreasonable for a treat.
Last night? My daughter moved out (again). Although she has moved out before (was married before), this time seems harder for me - a little more emotional about it. Part of it could be hormonal changes within myself, part of it could be because she seems to feel good about the man she is moving in with (even that brings challenges for me, as I don't believe living together is the right thing to do unless you are married), and so it feels a little more ... permanent? .... Regardless of the detailed cause, I found myself reaching for my usual soother - food. So, one package of jelly beans (organic! Does that make it better?
) 2 Lindt balls (dark chocolate - that's good for you, right?!), and several wheat crackers with cream cheese (still needed some protein for the night, so that helps, right? I'll just ignore the fact that I shouldn't eat gluten....), I felt terrible. Not exactly a huge binge, but more than I'm used to eating in one sitting, and soooo much sugar and fat!
So, here I sit, with the morning-after regret, but knowing full well today is a new day. Yesterday was harder than most days, but I'm not living then - I'm living NOW, and planning for my future!
Speaking of which ...
I plan to continue with the bikini plate for another week - I want to get to the point where having the vegetables isn't quite so hard, and would really like to have the thought process behind what I eat, and when I eat, is a little more ingrained. By the time I eat everything I should, I really don't have much room for anything else, so having to limit bad foods has been pretty simple. Once I feel "at home" with the plate, I plan to start looking at the true calorie content of what I'm getting in a day. Baby steps, remember? I have tried in the past, but have tried to change so quickly that nothing became second nature for me. If this is to be a true life-changing experience, I need it to become simply a way that I live. That means that each step needs to become just a part of what I do - without having to have a long checklist of things to pay attention to.
Aerobic - 25 minutes (lesson learned, remember?)
Strength - 12 minutes
Stretching - 5 minutes
Meditation (besides at bed time) - 10 minutes.
I've really found that doing a simply style of meditation has helped me to decrease the pain that I feel in my shoulders and neck. Perhaps in my lower back as well. I simply sit in a tailor's position, hands resting on my knees, (think Yoga in alignment), and focus on slowing my thoughts down, and recognizing where my head, pelvis, and abs all belong in order to have my upper body in the alignment it needs to have for strength.
At times I am a little frustrated with how slowly I am progressing with things. Some times it is easier for me to remember just how far I have come in the last 5 weeks or so, but sometimes I think about how far I have to go. Very important to me to focus on how far I have come.
Picture it - instead of being a runner focusing on the mountain in the distance, I am a swimmer, swimming on my back, looking at how far I have made it from the beginning shore. I will eventually get to the further shore, but am not at the point where it is helpful for me to focus on it yet. And that's ok. I'm still making progress, and that's all that counts!
So, until next week, gonna' keep on swimming!