Saturday, November 16, 2013
This morning, I set the intention to listen to my body, to use the hunger scale, and to be mindful in choosing what I put into my body. I packed a healthy lunch to bring to work (I do work on Saturdays). I got into my car and drove to the gas station to fuel up. I had planned to eat a Kind bar I have stashed at work, but as if on auto-pilot, I immediately drove around the gas station to the Burger King drive-through, and ordered three (3!) of their cinnabon/minibons.
I'm not sure when the thought of going to Burger King initially arose in my mind. I think it was a very quick thought, immediately after I got back into my car. We're talking a split second of a thought, and that was enough to send me cruising immediately to the drive through.
Ideally, I would love to notice when I'm having an impulsive thought about food, and then use the hunger scale to evaluate whether I'm hungry, and if so, pause for a moment to decide what might taste really good that would be nourishing to my body. I know what to do! Why can't I pause long enough to remember to do it??
Once I had the Cinnabons in my car, I unwrapped my plastic fork and ate each one of them. It never occurred to me that perhaps I could throw them away and go buy something healthier, or that I could eat the Kind bar as planned. It never occurred to me that maybe I could eat one Cinnabon since it sounded good, and forego the rest. Nope. I unconsciously told myself, "Well, what's done is done. Now dig in."
I really need to figure out how to get this pause in. The pause is the most important part of mindful eating, and mindful living in general. I have already decided I'm going to tape a little index card to the dashboard that says "Pause, Laura!" but I'm not sure that will be enough. I've been operating on autopilot for years and years. I guess it's a good first step.
So now that I've eaten this sugar-laden breakfast (to the point of feeling sick when I got to work), it's important that I take back control of this day. I am now setting an intention to take good care of myself for the rest of today - to drink water, to eat when hungry, to stop when full. I plan to take a hot bubble bath tonight as a reward for getting through my work week. I will not beat myself up about this morning, but I do need to brainstorm some ways to get this Pause in more often.