Saturday, November 16, 2013
I am scale obsessed. I weigh myself every morning. I know to the decimal what I weigh. I yell at the scale. I yell "F you" is my weight is up. Is it a problem if I'm doing well? I'm rocking & rolling transforming physically & emotionally. Is my relationship to the scale serving me or stealing from me, in terms of my emotional state? The scale has served me in some ways. But the down side is when my weight is up I feel frustrated, angry, like I have to double down my efforts, like my body letting my down somehow.
Sometime jumping on the scale every single day takes away from how I relate to my body. There's the control issue. Like it stabilizes something. It's something I can keep trying & trying. It's a physical thing there that I can try to change. There's a lot of things I can't control. But the scale is this physical thing that I can focus on and try to control. But the focus on the scale takes away from tuning into how my body feels, if I ate the right kind & amount of food or did the right amount of workouts. I skip the process of listening to my body, how does my body feel toward food and the level of satiety, and working out and the endorphins that come with it.
So I asked my son to put the scale away for me, and he put it way up on top of the China cabinet, where I can't reach it. It's silly. I could just get a chair. Yet, it helps to have it literally out of reach.
Weighing myself every day doesn't give meaningful data, stress, hydration, sodium, menstrual cycle etc, all can effect the number on the scale. What would happen if I didn't weigh until the end of the year? If I just concentrated on all my healthy habits instead? How freeing would that be?
If my fitness, weight loss & wellness life is governed by fear, it won't last. The only way to transform my life is with freedom and power. I want sustainable transformation.