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Still breathing

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Here I am, 12:30am, and what am I doing? Eating a bowl of bananas and peanut butter and simply listening to my kids breathe. I wish that I were sleeping like they are. So why aren't I? Well, because my toddler keeps trying to kill my newborn. I was getting the 3 of us ready for bed when I had to run in the bathroom to put on deodorant. Generally, I keep it in my nightstand, but I ran out, so I had to steal some of the hubby's. When I left the room, Xena was laying under the blanket with her head on the pillow. Isis was laying at the foot of the bed in the opposite side. She was crying. I left the door open and just ran down the hall, the 10 feet to the bathroom. Only a couple of seconds. But by the time I got back, Xena was in the middle of the bed with Isis in a choke hold on top of her. So that leaves me here now, laying awake, listening to both of them breathe but mainly paying attention to Isis hoping she hasn't been injured and paranoid that she's going to stop breathing (really not helping that I have a friend who list her daughter to SIDS this morning and she was just 10 days younger than Isis), and eating because that's what nervous mothers paranoid that their kids are going to die do. However, I'm going to look at the bright side of things. Of all the things in the kitchen and pantry, I went for the peanut butter and bananas. There's a gallon sized Ziploc of Halloween candy and 3 cans of Pringles in the pantry with the peanut butter. Just a few feet away from the fruit bowl is the freezer with 3 cartons of ice cream, all sorts of sundae toppings in the fridge, and ice cream cones. That's pretty darn good of me, don't ya think? I mean, yes, I am emotional eating, but I chose something healthful. And besides which, I was feeling hungry anyway. If I had actually been intending on still being awake, I was actually leaving more towards a sandwich, but I'm not really starting awake... even though I am. A technicality, ya know. Technically awake, but not accomplishing anything. On a brighter note, I can read some emails and charge my Fitbit without missing a step. Ugh. So tired though. I wish these kids could just get along (or more so, that Xena would behave and not try to hurt her sister who is to young to protect herself).

Anyone with tips on quelling sibling rivalry?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am dreading dealing with this kind of situation after the baby is born. My son is very possessive.

    No advice for you, just lots of hugs.
    1556 days ago
    Wow! You showed strength under pressure. Give yourself a pat on the back!
    1558 days ago
    We've definitely had that talk with her, and whenever possible, I make sure to get some alone time with her, as does my husband. Easier for him than myself because I'm nursing. I feel bad for Xena because even she isn't nice to her sister I get so upset with her. I try not to, but it's not easy, especially days like today. I do think she does need to see a counselor. Unfortunately it's a subject my husband and I don't see eye to eye on. We both agree that we need to get her into the sibling class given by our hospital though. We tried taking her while I was still pregnant and she just ended up throwing a tantrum and we were asked to leave.

    I'm sorry that you've been put in a similar situation. It's scary. Hopefully I won't wind up in that same boat next summer. I don't even know if I'd be able to mentally handle that situation. That might break me. I'm already seeing a counselor myself, and we've been working through ways to handle these situations. I'm starting to feel hopeless though because nothing seems to be working. Both positive and negative reinforcement for any of the issues we've been having with her just don't work (taking things away or time it's as punishment or washing out her own diaper (we're using cloth) if she poops in it instead of using the potty, and using rewards for good behavior, helping out, and successfully using the potty). She was so excited to be a big sister when I was pregnant. I guess it just isn't living up to her expectations of what it was going to be like. I'm sure it will be better when Isis is older and can actually play with Xena and be her friend, but the time until then scares me right now.
    1558 days ago
    I am so sorry! It has to be rough to see that. It appears that she is feeling quite jealous of her sister and the attention she needs. Have you tried letting her know that no matter what, she is always going to be your little girl and you won't stop loving her. Let her know too that her sister is also developing love and trust for her, that she needs her sister to help and protect her and that as Isis grows up, she will look up to her and admire her. So, she needs to start being that older sister now and treat her with love and care. Xena may have to see a counselor a couple of times if she doesn't listen to you. Hang in there, you made great choices for your snack. Both are more healthy for you.

    My oldest son at age 5 1/2 refused to pick his younger brother up after taking him into the center of the kiddie wading pool at the park and dumping him in. J couldn't get his feet and was drowning and I had to dash in shoes and all and get him. His eyes were rolling back in his head when I got him out of the foot high water. His brother 'wanted him to do it himself'!
    1558 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/16/2013 1:35:40 AM
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