I fell off the wagon.
With my eating that is.
I took the wrong path and messed up most of the healthy habits I had fought for years to establish.
Why? Stress, hard times, overwhelming emotions. I let them take control of my meals and snacks. And they chose what I put in my mouth according to what they believed I needed. More carbs for comfort. More sweets to fight disappointment. More salty snacks to ease anxiety.
And this same pattern has been going on for months. In combination with a limited activity on Sparkpeople due to lack of free time.
And if youíre wondering what the scale has to say about this, well, itís noticed the changes. And it has responded accordingly. But thankfully, not with a big change to its number. The damage has been kept to a minimum thanks to the only one good habit that Iíve managed to maintain: Exercise. The endorphins serve as my antidepressants and I intend to keep on using them. Thatís one healthy habit that is here to stay. Maybe its form, duration and intensity change from time to time but itís not affected by the bumps on my life road.
This morning, as I do every morning, I checked my emails while having a cup of coffee. To my surprise, I found no notifications from SP. I was so disappointed! The Sparkworld had abandoned me! Really???
Hold on. Let me give this a second thoughtÖ
No. The ugly truth isÖ Iím the one who has abandoned SparkworldÖ
Together with my healthy eating habits, my maintenance mentality, my vigilance, my diligence, my battles for a strong and healthy version of myself. And I just took a look in the rear view mirror and realized what Iíve been doing to my life the past few months...
Iíve been making my life difficult.
Seriously. Being off track is really difficult if you think about it. And I donít mean itís difficult to happen. We all know thatís the easiest thing in the world. I mean its consequences are difficult. The results to our everyday life are difficult to manage.
Think about it. Isnít it difficult to feel bloated all day just because you couldnít say no to that bag of chips last night? Isnít it difficult to cope with the fatigue that comes after a super-energetic period that was caused by an extreme elevation in your blood sugar levels just because you couldnít resist trying all the available desserts? Isnít it difficult to dread the scale at your weekly weigh-in just because you know youíve stuffed yourself with tons of bad food? Isnít it difficult to be in a constant agony and fear that all the weight you fought so hard to lose is slowly and sneakily going to creep back on?
And if this all reminds you of the ďchoose your hardĒ way of thinking, thatís exactly what it is. Because saying no to the bag of chips is difficult, too. Choosing wisely among the available desserts is also hard. But theyíre moments. Moments of difficult decision-making, but able to make your everyday life so much easier! Difficult moments VS difficult life. Weíve got to choose our own difficult.
Itís about time I start making my life a different kind of difficult again.
The ďeasyĒ, healthy and strong kind of difficult.
Iím back, Sparkworld!