On Saturday, I had my WI and I was down 2.4! I was elated!
What did I do? My brain said, "I got this!" and I subconsciously gave myself permission to eat with a little "indulgence." Hello! That's not how you lost the 2.4 silly! Well, thank goodness I tracked my calories...Since Saturday, I have been averaging around 2200 calories. I had one day with a less than 1600 count. But, that isn't going to get my weight down. On top of that, I have not gone to the gym much this week.
Very frustrated with myself. But...I learned something.
Allowing an old behavior in for me is like telling the engineer, "Go!" Within a few moments, I can end up right back where I started. The Weight Gain Train is unforgiving and picks up speed like nobody's business! Especially with this body!
So ultimately, what does that mean for me now that I know that about myself? I need to remember that when I have success...that train is just parked in the station waiting for a green light. I need to remember that you can undo a weeks worth of work in a day, an hour and for us overachievers, sometimes a few minutes.
It is also shown me that I need to renew my promise of health to myself each and every morning, success or not. It is vital for my body, my mind, my spirit... Weight loss is not easy because it isn't about food. It's about the mind. What we have struggles with, challenges with, stem mostly from our brain. Extra weight is usually a symptom of something else. There are very few times that my stomach is painfully telling me to eat because I don't like to get to that point of hunger. I never have. Even as a little girl. I think that is why weight loss is so individual as well.
Our bodies, while they have the same parts, are entirely different from one to the next. As is our taste buds. But, we all have one thing in common and that is our brains. Our brains are the key to our success. There we find desire to lose the weight, motivation to keep going and intelligence to know what foods are healthy for our bodies and which are not. The most important thing in our brains is our power of choice and decision. This can make or break a weight loss success.
I know I am a smart cookie, I just need to keep my goals in the forefront of my mind. I am not doing that now. That little girl inside me is saying, "Why can't I eat like everyone else? Why can't I have those fries? Why do I have to eat something boring?" What I need to start telling my little girl within is, "You are not like everyone else. You are special. Fries are not a healthy choice for your body, but let me show you what you CAN have....and...Let's make a new, delicious recipe using fresh vegetables and see how it turns out! Cooking is fun and you get to try new things!"
I am not going to see being healthy as Missing Out, as Boring, or as a Chore. Those are all the things I hated as a kid and I am not going to let that little girl see things this way anymore. I am an adult and being healthy is something I want. It's time to change.
Some key things for me to remember from this experience is...
* Renew my goal to become healthy every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed.
* Change my perception...Focus on what I GET to have and GET to do, such as cooking (which I enjoy) and exercising (love to dance).
* Exercise...even if it is a 30 minute walk with my mom's crazy dogs....they need exercise too!
* Never forget that old habits and patterns die hard and that train is just waiting for the GO ahead. Keep it in the station!
Nov 6 - Grateful that I have a wonderful place to live and a home, not just a house to live in.
Nov 7 - Grateful for the financial ability to have a gym membership.
Nov 8 - Grateful for my body. Not everyone can walk or even has all there limbs or wits about them. I need to make use of this body and treat it with care.
Nov 9 - I am grateful to my Saturday morning Zumba teacher who never loses her enthusiasm and pushes us to be stronger in every class.
Nov 10- Grateful for the new friends I have made over the last few months. They have shown me such kindness and generosity yet never expected anything but friendship in return.
Nov 11 - Grateful for the men and women who have served and are serving our country in the military. Without their service, our country wouldn't have the freedom and independence it has today. Thank you!
Nov 12 - Grateful for the opportunity to interview for a job that I know I would love and do very well! Thankful that I had the right words and hoping to hear good news soon!
Nov 13- Grateful for one of my Aunties who has been making sure to keep my Dad's side of the family together, even if it means doing a second Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her heart is always in the right place, I appreciate that.
Nov 14 - Grateful for the opportunities that I have had in my life that have led me to where I am today. Without those, I would not be the woman I am today, challenges and all.