Thursday, November 14, 2013
Thank you Kim for inspiring me to post this.
April 10, 2013. My turning point was weighing my 11 year old daughter and measuring her waist. I was shocked. I wanted to cry, but I could not let her see me break down. I had to change to she would hopefully see a difference in me. Her waist was almost the same measurement as my own and I'm an adult. I started on a mission to do a complete 360 in my life. I still have a really hard time motivating the family, but I start each day on my knees praying for this family and for God to give me the strength to keep going.
Last night (I am positive this was God) I was led to a sparkteam, which led me to another website, which ........ I know I have to be honest here and share with all my friends that I've struggled with a rum love addiction for 30+ years. I've done a great job at hiding this from everyone around me in real life. Yes, I'm worried what other people think of me. This is something that I would not even bring up in church. I envision everyone staring at me and saying "Oh my, she's a Christian, reads the Bible, Loves the Lord and she drinks! What a hypocrite! A shame."
This was extremely hard for me to share, but God knows my heart and my desires. I talk to him about it everyday and I believe I will be delivered in His time. April 10, 2013 was my turning point. I did quit drinking, and I thought I was delivered. June 24, 2013, I went on vacation to meet a group of people I did not know. Long story short, I was nervous, scared, I thought I needed a drink to relax and be me! When I came back from vacation, that was that. Just taking all this one day at a time! Today is a new day.
For the friends I've made on here so far, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you and that I've kept this secret. I have to come clean for me! I truly believe I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
So, last night I started to share my story to get some things out on a blog other than Spark. If you are interested, sparkmail me and I'll share that web address with you. I'm just not ready to post it to just anyone, ONLY those who truly care.