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    TKAYSMILES   43,423
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Just need to vent

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I so need to write this. I am basically just venting to release some of this anxiety and stress I have building up right now.

Today I feel like crying. It has been a rough few weeks here well basically a rough month. And every year after Halloween it just seems to get worse. Not that I intend it to but it does. Today I am just about at my breaking point. I am having huge amounts of anxiety about work, home, kid, money and Spark too. I know I am letting people down and it freaks me out. It is only getting worse too. I wake up saying it is going to be a better day and well it just hasn't gotten better. My depression is high right now too. I have been a horrible leader and team mate to my spark friends. I'm so sorry.

The only thing I feel like I have control of right this minute is my journey. Weird huh?? I have been very diligent in making sure I eat right and stick with my exercise. It's like that one thing that I can control. I love love love my crossfit. It has helped me a lot.

Do you just ever feel you've lost control of everything?? That is me right now. The holidays are not my favorite. I'm one of those that could really live with out them. They just make my anxiety go way up. anyway...i just dont' have anyone to talk to here and just need to get it out. This is choppy and doesnt' really make sense I know. Just frustrated and I need a hug really. UGH!!

Tomorrow will be a better day!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIZTERY 11/20/2013 12:51PM

    Take care of Terri, that's the best thing you can do for your friends and family. emoticon

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PKCTTS 11/19/2013 1:01AM

    I've been so "missing" myself - that I missed this blog. You need to feel great about keeping up your fitness routine. Then, if there are things that just aren't adding anything to your health and/or happiness - get rid of them . . .whether that's a holiday tradition, a Spark team or a leadership position.

It's a little late, but emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BMCOLLEY 11/17/2013 1:11AM

    I do hope you will feel better soon. Terri, I am by no means a medical professional; however, you sound as if you are suffering with more than one issue at a time. I just started a team "Multiple Mental Disorders." I started this team because at any given time I suffer from several disorders.

Please let me know, if there is a specific issue that you would like for me to address. I am here as your emoticon .

Bettie

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SDLOV3R 11/16/2013 2:33PM

    First of all, there is no need to apologize to us here on Spark. We are your constant supporters. When you are absent we only care that you are okay; we certainly don't think about how horrible of a team leader/friend you've been.

Second, you are not alone. I get this way this time of year as well. My family is not close and the holidays just seem to highlight that for me. And this year especially, my partner is deployed on the other side of the world, so the one constant in my life is not even here. I am certainly feeling the stress and sadness of the holidays, coupled with grad school and everything else I have going on in my life - all of which seem to be in cahoots about having emergency situations one after the other. Not only do I not feel like I have any control, but I feel like there's no hope of gaining control any time soon. I'm hanging on by the tips of my fingers and using Spark as much as possible for support.

I am SO SO grateful for Spark and for the connections I've made on here, both in supporting me through tough times and letting me know I'm not alone in my challenges, and you, Terri, are not alone. Hugs and warmth going out to you. Hang in there. We've got this.

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NERDLETTE 11/13/2013 9:10PM

    emoticon Hang in there - it WILL get better!!! emoticon

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AMARILYNH 11/13/2013 7:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon That is why us humans need each other - to offer support in times like this! I'll just bet your team DOESN'T feel that way at all - they care about you and want only what is best for you!! That is what teams are about - Together Everyone Achieves More!! Hugs!!

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RUNNINGWILD 11/13/2013 6:01PM

    Terri, if you have this:
" I have been very diligent in making sure I eat right and stick with my exercise. "
Then you're A-OK. Don't worry about the rest of us. You're your number 1 priority. We can handle everything else. Got it? emoticon
ps: if you feel you haven't got it, let us know and we'll help you get it.

Comment edited on: 11/13/2013 6:02:03 PM

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STILLWATERSSB 11/13/2013 5:28PM

    emoticon

Sometimes there isn't a good substitute for real arms......but what I love about Spark is that the people here have been here for me when those in my immediate world haven't. I've been there where everything seems to be out of control. Rest generally helps put things into perspective but I understand that breaking point. I'm sure if there's anything you could eliminate from your plate you would've already. Just carefully weigh your options, check your pros and consand whatever you do, don't eliminate your support team! Keep your chin up, you will get through this!

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