Wednesday, November 13, 2013
I so need to write this. I am basically just venting to release some of this anxiety and stress I have building up right now.
Today I feel like crying. It has been a rough few weeks here well basically a rough month. And every year after Halloween it just seems to get worse. Not that I intend it to but it does. Today I am just about at my breaking point. I am having huge amounts of anxiety about work, home, kid, money and Spark too. I know I am letting people down and it freaks me out. It is only getting worse too. I wake up saying it is going to be a better day and well it just hasn't gotten better. My depression is high right now too. I have been a horrible leader and team mate to my spark friends. I'm so sorry.
The only thing I feel like I have control of right this minute is my journey. Weird huh?? I have been very diligent in making sure I eat right and stick with my exercise. It's like that one thing that I can control. I love love love my crossfit. It has helped me a lot.
Do you just ever feel you've lost control of everything?? That is me right now. The holidays are not my favorite. I'm one of those that could really live with out them. They just make my anxiety go way up. anyway...i just dont' have anyone to talk to here and just need to get it out. This is choppy and doesnt' really make sense I know. Just frustrated and I need a hug really. UGH!!
Tomorrow will be a better day!!!