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Miserable and Frustrated

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I need to change the way I eat. I need to change the way we all eat. The problems are many; my husband was one of 7 children in a very poor family, so they ate whatever was least expensive and could feed a family of 9. Often, they didn't eat enough, and he has compensated heavily as an adult by indulging in things he could never afford to have as a child. I get it, but there is no way he could ever help me to eat healthier.

My family had the means to eat healthier, but I was raised on fast food. Grocery shopping was for soda, candy, sugary cereals, microwaveable garbage, and other snacks. I never learned how to eat, and I never learned how to cook. In my entire childhood, my mother probably cooked a meal about 20 times.

I will admit that I hate cooking. I loathe and detest it with every fiber of my being. However, I could like to know how, to be able to make nutritious meals for my family, and to teach my children how to cook so they don't grow up like I did. Maybe in time I could learn to enjoy it. Part of my frustration is just not knowing what to make.

The way I was raised to eat, running off to the fast food places or grabbing something pre-packed and microwaveable, is not the way I want to eat. I've gone about 95% organic and vegetarian (eggs seem to be difficult to go without in baking). Baking requires either eggs, or more cooking skills than I possess.

I have no idea how to meal plan. Or cook. Or…UGH. I feel hopelessly lost. I've gained weight, which I swore I never would. I hate my body so much that I won't even look in the mirror unless I have to, and I wear huge, baggy clothing because I don't want to look at my body and I don't want anyone else to. I can't recall a time in my life, outside of the eating disorders, when I hated my body this much. I think it would be extremely easy to fall right back into that mess.

And you know, at this point with how uncomfortable I am both emotionally and physically, I really wouldn't care.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for the encouragement :)
    1564 days ago
  • BILL60
    I think you know what needs to be done. All you have to do is decide to do it. Is it going to be heard.....Hell Yes. But, think of the rewards: healthy you; healthy family; and a very happy you. Hang tough and "Do It".
    1565 days ago
    Hi! I give you a lot of credit for wanting to make changes in your diet. Choosing to eat Organic and Vegetarian is a great start, it's so important to begin with wholesome food. You are in the right place. SP has so many awesome resources between the recipe, meal planner and the message boards you will get pointed in the right direction. You have the right idea. Begin small, start with easy to follow meals. You can do this. It is a skill like so many you have already learned in your lifetime. Aim to prepare a meal at home once a week at first. Best of luck!
    1565 days ago
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