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    EDDYMEESE   11,364
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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Whoa, it's been so long since I've logged on.

Tracking using the WW app is going great. I'd say I've tracked about 99.9% of what I've eaten over the last 5 weeks. I'm down 5.5 pounds as of last week, and will weigh in again tomorrow. I'm trying not to obsess over how much I'm losing, as long as I'm not gaining. Every bit lost is that much closer to my goal weight.

I've started seeing a therapist. After getting back more fertility testing and getting completely normal results, I've decided maybe, just maybe *cringe* I'm the reason I keep miscarrying. Maybe I want it too much. I know I avoid people like the plague if I think they are trying to get pregnant or if they are pregnant. I haven't been on FB in forever. I don't know. Fertility testing keeps coming back normal, I've been pregnant 3 times...eventually a baby will freaking stick, right??? I need this therapy. I need to talk about my fears and learn to cope with the possibility of failure. But what is failure? I'll be a mother, whether it's my own, or whether I end up having no choice but to adopt. I WILL BE A MOTHER. I just need somebody to talk to. DH gets it, but he just has such different coping mechanisms. I need to talk about things. A lot. He doesn't. Anyway, we had our first session 2 weeks ago and I go back tomorrow. So far, so good.

Work is ok. I've had a rough few weeks of really bizarre, rough cases. I had one lady get really angry and scream at me on the phone and that was tough. I was third veterinarian she had visited for her dog's diarrhea that had been going on for 2 weeks. They declined my recommendations and opted for medical management, so I sent them home with some probiotics and said if it isn't improving in 2 days, we have to do more testing. Ok. They were happy. 4 hours after they left, the owner called me screaming. Her dog didn't like the probiotic. She tried it on MANY different foods. Now her 1-month supply is out (in FOUR hours). How dare I give her something her dog won't eat. She screamed at me for 40 minutes. I should have ended that conversation about 35 minutes earlier, but that's a lesson learned, I guess. It really got to me though. She was asking me what kind of doctor do I think I am, that I'm an idiot, that I'm stupid. It was HORRIBLE. I lost a lot of sleep over it and lost my confidence. I'm just now starting to feel better, and that was 2 weeks ago. See, this is why I need therapy. I let things weigh on me for far too long.

Zvika's job. UGH. New deadline: Dec. 20, instead of Nov. 15. UGH. UGH. UGH. But, he finally got the details ironed out and it will be worth it.

New goal for the week: log in to SP at least once every day, read blogs, comment, get involved! I can't let myself lose my momentum. I just don't always feel like being online.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CAPT_BUTTERFLY 11/13/2013 9:05AM

    Don't blame yourself for the sheer stupidity of the general population. I agree with Morticiaadams there, the woman needs to work on her technique, both with dealing with ther pet and with dealing with people. What are the legalities of turning her away as a future client? I know in some businesses you can do that, but i'm not sure what the legalities would be in the Veterinary field. Worth looking into, you don't need to listen to raving nutters all day, and you just know that if she's that mental over the pet not taking the meds you know she's going to go off her rocker if the animal ever dies.

Good luck with the Pregnancy plans, I have a few friends who have had Fertility issues and Miscarriages, it can be a long hard process, and the Miscarriages can be due to a lot of things that are just beyond your control. It's difficult and really stressfull, and is breaking down your ability to deal with these other day to day stresses. I hope the therapy is helpful for you, and send you the absolute best wishes throughout the whole process.

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JUDI_CUTIE 11/13/2013 12:35AM

    Hi Eddy,
I hope you start to feel better with the therapy. I am so sorry to hear about all of the miscarriages. I'm rooting for you!

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PHEBESS 11/12/2013 10:55PM

    Therapy can only help, right?

And if that pet owner treated YOU that way, can you imagine the stress the doggie is under? That OWNER is the reason the dog has diarrhea!!!!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/12/2013 10:19PM

    You are doing great on the weight loss! I'm not obsessing about the weight either. Just trying to keep off what I have lost and add a little to the loss when I can.

I'm certain you will be a mother too and I think you will have your own biological child. It will happen.

Good grief. Do animals really like probiotics or any meds? LOL. My chinchillas only like meds if they are loaded with sugar. We don't ask them if they want their meds or if they like them. We give them to them. LOL. The woman needs to work on her technique with her dog and not blame you for her lack of skill. She sounds like a lunatic. Is she expecting her dog to beg for medicine?

I sure hope that this time his job will actually be on December 20. I'm sure he is wearing out.

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