Old Feelings Die Hard
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Day 48 of Maintenance, aka Week 7.
I am incredibly happy with myself. I'm nearing my One Year Anniversary since I started this journey (Nove 16th), and I keep thinking, "WOW!!! I can't believe how I was and how I am today!!"
(NOTE TO SELF: Create new before/after pics.)
A lot of my blog posts go into how I eat differently now, how I am more active, how I love to shop, how I love how clothes fit on me, how healthy I feel and am now. All of this is true. But sometimes, I get busy and forget: I have come a LONG way. And today, Day 48 of Maintenance, I weighed-in at 157 pounds. A negative person could say, "Oh, you've gained 4 pounds from your lowest weight!!" But I don't look at it that way. Instead, I think, "I've lost 111 pounds and have stayed within 5 pounds of my goal weight of 155! I'm AWESOME!!!"
This isn't to say I haven't had my panics. Hoooo, boy!! The first weigh-in panic came after traveling to Arizona. I was concerned I had gained a huge amount of weight (as I did consume alcohol and a couple of meals that were "iffy" - things like hummus and pita, with not as much veggies as I wanted). I was dreading stepping on that scale, but I knew if I didn't, I would slip and slide and it would not be right. So I sucked it up and stepped on.
See? What was there to fear?
The problem is, I've spent SO MANY YEARS being afraid of what I ate. And being off the Medifast Meals (for the most part - I still eat a couple every day as snacks) means that I choose what to eat. And while I choose mostly healthy things, I am ALWAYS afraid that one unhealthy indulgence will turn into 20 pounds and a regression.
I've lost the weight, but I still see that my mind needs retraining. Maintenance is a journey after all; it is the second, more important, phase of permanent weight loss (and health!!!). Because, like all the articles say, it's OK to have chocolate at night, to eat froyo, to have a few extra chips. It's OK to enjoy what you eat. There's nothing to feel guilty about.
It all comes back to BALANCE and HEALTH. I enjoy a couple of squares of dark chocolate, instead of half a bag of Halloween candy (which, BTW, isn't all that great anyway, at least IMO). I'll fill a small bowl with frozen yogurt instead of eating half a carton of Dreyers' Cookies and Cream. And instead of binging on an entire bag of chips, I'll set aside a serving of healthy(ish) chips (you know, those "Way Better Snacks" brands and such) and eat some hummus and carrots with it.
And the other part is being active. You see, I do sometimes eat more than I should - and then I go to Zumba for an hour or spin or run. No, I shouldn't eat more than I exercise, but I'm certainly not the sedentary creature I was last year.
So I'm still learning. I still worry and panic and fret - but I'm trying to let go and live. Enjoy myself, while still being healthy. And I think I'm doing pretty darned good, if you ask me!