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Old Feelings Die Hard

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Day 48 of Maintenance, aka Week 7.

I am incredibly happy with myself. I'm nearing my One Year Anniversary since I started this journey (Nove 16th), and I keep thinking, "WOW!!! I can't believe how I was and how I am today!!"

(NOTE TO SELF: Create new before/after pics.)

A lot of my blog posts go into how I eat differently now, how I am more active, how I love to shop, how I love how clothes fit on me, how healthy I feel and am now. All of this is true. But sometimes, I get busy and forget: I have come a LONG way. And today, Day 48 of Maintenance, I weighed-in at 157 pounds. A negative person could say, "Oh, you've gained 4 pounds from your lowest weight!!" But I don't look at it that way. Instead, I think, "I've lost 111 pounds and have stayed within 5 pounds of my goal weight of 155! I'm AWESOME!!!"

This isn't to say I haven't had my panics. Hoooo, boy!! The first weigh-in panic came after traveling to Arizona. I was concerned I had gained a huge amount of weight (as I did consume alcohol and a couple of meals that were "iffy" - things like hummus and pita, with not as much veggies as I wanted). I was dreading stepping on that scale, but I knew if I didn't, I would slip and slide and it would not be right. So I sucked it up and stepped on.

156 pounds.

See? What was there to fear?

The problem is, I've spent SO MANY YEARS being afraid of what I ate. And being off the Medifast Meals (for the most part - I still eat a couple every day as snacks) means that I choose what to eat. And while I choose mostly healthy things, I am ALWAYS afraid that one unhealthy indulgence will turn into 20 pounds and a regression.

I've lost the weight, but I still see that my mind needs retraining. Maintenance is a journey after all; it is the second, more important, phase of permanent weight loss (and health!!!). Because, like all the articles say, it's OK to have chocolate at night, to eat froyo, to have a few extra chips. It's OK to enjoy what you eat. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

It all comes back to BALANCE and HEALTH. I enjoy a couple of squares of dark chocolate, instead of half a bag of Halloween candy (which, BTW, isn't all that great anyway, at least IMO). I'll fill a small bowl with frozen yogurt instead of eating half a carton of Dreyers' Cookies and Cream. And instead of binging on an entire bag of chips, I'll set aside a serving of healthy(ish) chips (you know, those "Way Better Snacks" brands and such) and eat some hummus and carrots with it.

And the other part is being active. You see, I do sometimes eat more than I should - and then I go to Zumba for an hour or spin or run. No, I shouldn't eat more than I exercise, but I'm certainly not the sedentary creature I was last year.

So I'm still learning. I still worry and panic and fret - but I'm trying to let go and live. Enjoy myself, while still being healthy. And I think I'm doing pretty darned good, if you ask me!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! I hadn't read your blogs since this spring! I'm so glad to hear that you are in maintenance!
    1548 days ago
    Balance and Health -- that's what it's all about. I'm also within 5 pounds of my low weight. I make different choices about food and fitness now. This is a lifestyle I find comfortable and I can maintain it. I know there will be challenges, but it's worth it to me.
    1560 days ago
    It's so great that you've realized this is your life, not just a short period of time of drastic dieting. Lives are meant to be lived in exuberance, not fear. And everyday is a new chance to practice :)
    1560 days ago
    Great thoughts. I'm FINALLY starting to realize it's about changing your mindset & lifestyle.
    1560 days ago
    I think you're doing a good job w/ maintenance!! It's going to take some time to figure out how much your body needs so a pound here and there is okay ---you'll find that medium and will stay at your goal weight!! I'm 6lbs from my goal weight adn I'm terrified of maintenance! haha!! Keep up the good work!
    1560 days ago
    You continue to be a great inspiration Carolyn! I'll be raising a medifast shake to you on the 16th! Well done girl!
    1561 days ago
    Good for you! Choosing to exercise and eat better gives you the strength to feel good about yourself. Keep going and live your life and be happy.
    1561 days ago
    I enjoyed reading your blog. emoticon
    1561 days ago
    1561 days ago
    I think you're doing pretty darn good too!

    I love reading your blogs. You're so positive and that inspires me! Keep up the great work!
    1561 days ago
    emoticon I guess it's a lifelong effort.
    1561 days ago
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