Twelve days out and still dealing with the rebel
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Lazy, lazy, lazy all weekend long.
I went back and had a chat with the teenager inside and the one-word diagnosis was "overwhelmed". Too many loose pieces/tasks/priorities.
There are twelve days left... 9 'til flight day... and I'm not "in the groove". Oh, better than at the worst, but still not up to Polly Perfectionist's standards. I won the battle of the grocery store and did NOT bring home chips or ice cream.
It has dawned on me that Polly and the Rebel have a long history with one another. Polly promised the Rebel that she (Polly) would make her (Rebel's) life better somehow. Polly lied, 45 years ago, and continues to spread those lies even today. Rebel could NEVER live up to Polly's standards.
Rebel's original solution was not better... she went 180 degrees the other way, pouting and saying "I don't CARE, I don't CARE!"
But like most rebellious teens... she DOES care. She wants a good life. She just doesn't always want to do "in the moment" what needs to be done. At times she is not even aware of just what needs to be done.
So... back to one decision at a time. Kindness to the Rebel inside. And release of Polly's standards.