Monday, November 11, 2013
I should balance my checkbook and pay bills.
I should plant my daffodil bulbs--wait, that's something I love and now with that word "should" I feel obligated and a little grouchy that it got put on a list of 'shoulds'.
I saw a sign a long time ago that said, "Have you should on yourself today?"
And I forgot that concept until today when my older son and I were talking about motivations (healthy and unhealthy) as well as wonderful deep topics (he's getting to know himself better at college
Now, my older son is reminding me, "Did you just 'should' on yourself?" Example: today I said to him, "I haven't eaten yet today, and I should...." It was after 2:30 in the afternoon and I feel bad about eating, especially as it relates to what feels like would probably be (isn't though) a weight-gain correlation. I have diabetes; I have to eat. I eat healthy. I'm "mostly vegan"--dairy is gone, but eggs show up maybe once every few weeks. But we're part of a CSA (community supported agriculture) and get great freshly grown veggies. We shop at our local farmer's market. And I'm a member at our local food co-op too. I "should" not be afraid of eating...but I am.
When I 'should' on myself this afternoon, and my son caught me at it, I changed it up: "I'm going to make a healthy choice and eat some good food."
YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW THAT FELT TO MY *BRAIN* AND MY FEELINGS to say it that way! It was amazing. It was a game-changer.
As for the "should on myself" regarding a fear of food and mostly of eating..... ***I'm going to face that fear and enjoy this game-changing set of words for my life that changes for the better day by day. *** I'm going to keep learning.