Monday, November 11, 2013
I get the feeling that some people think I am just opinionated & loud in blogs! HA! In real life, EVERYONE knows exactly where I stand on EVERYTHING!!! NOBODY asks me a question they aren't prepared to hear MY truth about! IF they aren't prepared, well....they will be next time!
I got some great advice & opinions on yesterday's blog about how bad my D-i-L feeds my grandsons. I cannot control what they eat at home, but Samantha (my D-i-L) KNOWS not to send junk with them to my house. Orion has come to my house with soda 3 times. The 3rd time Samantha watched me pour it down the sink within minutes of them being here was the last time....probably 2 years ago.
Samantha & Gabe (my son's older brother) eat how & what they want at their house. There is nothing I can do about that. They are 32 & 35 years old. They can even feed their sons what they want at their house. They listen to me complain about it, but so far it hasn't changed much. At MY house they eat MY food! Once in a great while Samantha will bring a few groceries over for them to have while they are here. Before she leaves I go through it. If I don't approve of it, I send it home with her!!!
Yep, I'm M-i-L from Hell. Step mom from Hell. They put me in charge of their children when they are here. Despite the fact that I make the decisions in MY house they have blessed me with the responsibility of my grandsons 2-3 days a week since they were both just weeks old. I'm guessing I can't be TOO intolerable!
I have MUCH more say than most grandparents. They knew what they were getting into! If the boys are acting up at my house I handle it! EVEN if their parents are here. My house My rules! I am not hard to please & my grandsons love me!!!
Lenny, Mikhail & I are 3 of the 5 most important people in the boys' lives. My only goal is they are raised to be happy, healthy, loved & with good virtues!
I have had battles with Gabe & Samantha both, but it has NEVER been over my grandsons. Gabe & Samantha were together for a year before I ever met them. They were 22 & 19 years old when my son was born. I didn't take on 'step' kids when Lenny & I got together. I took on 2 adults. I joke about raising them because sometimes I feel like I spend more time raising them than I do my grandsons.
Samantha wears me out worse in the hour she is here picking up the boys than the boys do even when they spend the night!!! Honestly! I have never met a needier, chaotic, mellow dramatic person in my life. EVERYTHING is somebody else's fault ALWAYS! I believe she has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. With much prodding I helped to convince her she needed help. She's on anti-anxiety meds, but still keeps promising me she'll get into counselling. She doesn't see that it's HER problem yet, but I hold out hope!
Gabe is his own mess of problems, but he never talks about it. He has suffered with Major Depression all the years I have known him. He FINALLY took my advice about 3 months ago & got put on an anti-depressant! Hallelujah!!! I told him to take an online depression quiz & he actually said & I QUOTE, 'Lisa, that is a good idea'!!! WOW! Lisa might know a thing or two about mental health! WHO KNEW???
It tickles me SO much when people finally realize I might know what the hell I am talking about! I don't just blow smoke. Geez!
When I met Gabe he was a terrible male chauvinist. Which is totally bizarre because his dad has absolutely NONE of that in him. Gabe wouldn't listen to me about ANYTHING when we first met! They lived with us for a couple of months when Mikhail was a baby & Gabe & I had the opportunity to be alone to talk. We talked about politics, religion, Ancient Greece & other things I think he honestly believed I could not possibly know about. I think he was genuinely impressed. A GIRL who knew about something besides vampires & makeup. WEIRD!
Samantha is very limited in her knowledge about EVERYTHING. Well, except maybe Faes (the correct way to say Fairies according to her) & vampire folklore. I'm not saying she is stupid. I'm just saying that she has very limited knowledge because she doesn't care to learn anything extra! OR she reads what she wants to HEAR.
She normally won't discuss politics. She said the other day (about our government shutdown ) that it was a good time for the USA to have a Dictator. I'm thinking it's a good idea for her to continue to not discuss politics.
Needless to say, it didn't take me long to understand why Gabe dismissed women's thoughts on issues. Gabe has mostly outgrown that! He works with the public & is exposed to many different kinds of women now. He knows not to dismiss me! I don't consider him a male chauvinist anymore. I like to think I've helped him with that!
Considering I have their sons on average of 2-3 days a week I don't spend a whole lot of time with Gabe & Samantha. Most of what I have to say still goes in one ear & out the other so I've learned to 'pick my battles' with them. The boys are my main concern. I take child raising VERY serious!!!
My grandsons will always know they have a safe place! They will always know they can come here! They will always be fed good. They will know what a healthy happy relationship looks like. They will be taught good virtues. They both will know about God despite their parents being Agnostic/Atheists. They will always know they are loved.
I hope that (if even indirectly) I am able to teach Gabe & Samantha these things too!