Today has been almost like two days in one. I got to bed late last night and am running on less than 5 hours sleep. This is typical for my weekend working, but I never get used to it.
This morning was good; I felt good when I got up, very motivated. Last night while trying to fall asleep I was thinking about how I'd like to cut down, specifically, on my abdominal fat. In my family, we're all apple shaped. I've done enough research to know that along with genetics, there are certain things I can do to help with this. Overall, (this might sound weird..) I'd like to thin my skin. I feel like I have very thick skin and that eating healthier and cutting out sugar will help to bring it to a more typical consistency. Whether that's actually something or not... I don't know. But personal goals don't always have to make perfect sense, it'll either work itself out and correct or it won't and I'll know that's not something that can be done.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I had decided that for this weekend, I'm going to try to focus on cutting down on sugar. I drink coffee, used to be double double, I got it down to 2m1s, and I'm ready to make the jump. For my morning coffee I made it with milk and cinnamon (milk to cut the heat and taste, cinnamon to replace the taste-changing sugar.) It was delicious. I did really well with packing my lunch, but then I mindlessly had a mini-chocolate bar that someone offered me (these things are beginning to become a problem.)
By the time 1 o'clock came around I had myself convinced it was the evening. It was so dreary here today, and the day felt like it was dragging on into oblivion. I got in a small walk up to shoppers to peruse around a bit.
But since about 4, I've been feeling really low. Maybe it's a combination of all the above but sometimes this just happens. I become incredibly mentally isolated. Like I know it's all in my head, I could be surrounded by my entire family and friends and still feel like I am holed up in some sort of Pandora's Box (Doctor Who reference.) Then I start the negative talk in my mind and it's nearly impossible to overcome. And that's basically where I am now. On the second half of my two-part day, ready to climb into bed and put the covers over my head and just stay there.
But tomorrow is a new day, with new opportunities, and life to live. The best and worst thing is that nothing ever stays the same. Time marches on, and we get what we get and we deal with it as best as we can. So cheers to a better tomorrow.