Saturday, November 09, 2013
Five days ago, I woke up in pain. Familiar pain. BACK pain. I tried to brush it off, but then just simple things like getting out of bed and walking down the stairs brought tears to my eyes. And to make matters worse, my husband was only on the 4th day of his 10-day hunting trip hundreds of miles away. I was COMPLETELY alone.
I'll tell you straight, it's been a tough week.
I want to eat for comfort, I want to workout, I want to ACTUALLY rest instead of feeling like I really got shortchanged and calling this crappy situation "getting some rest". Pain doesn't feel like rest. The squats I'm doing because I can't bend down don't feel like rest. The other muscles that are compensating for the sore ones.... Well, you get the point. This week I've felt ashamed for not taking better care of my body for a longer period of time. I've felt humiliated and I've felt helpless.
But somehow, a midst all of these things, I found a strand of gratitude. I was forced to call on people for help. And they helped! I had friends come over and make me dinner and unload the dishwasher. I had friends who prayed. A neighbor came over and helped me with some car issues that I couldn't tend to myself. I couldn't do it alone and I found that I'm part of a community. For that I'm tremendously grateful. I also found myself more patient with others - especially since I've had time to myself (too much time to myself). I've taken more time to pray for others who are struggling. I've taken time to count my blessings and be thankful that "this too shall pass" and that it's a reminder of WHY I'm working to become stronger and healthier.
I'm seeing progress...the pain is gradually subsiding and I'm hoping that what I lack in patience for recovery is made up for by gratitude. LOL In seriousness, perhaps the single most thing that I am grateful for is this: I'm not discouraged. I'm not tempted to just forget about this whole idea and go back to a sedentary life full of overeating. I'm not thrilled about the setback and how the lapse in activity will be challenging but I'm NOT giving up. In fact, I'm planning on getting back in the pool at 5am Monday morning!
So maybe the lesson is truly to set our eyes on hope and good things even during our struggles. And to participate and allow ourselves to be part of a community. Thank you for being a part of my SparkPeople community - for cheering me on and permitting me to encourage you in return!