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Back Pain - A Time to Give Thanks(?)

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Five days ago, I woke up in pain. Familiar pain. BACK pain. I tried to brush it off, but then just simple things like getting out of bed and walking down the stairs brought tears to my eyes. And to make matters worse, my husband was only on the 4th day of his 10-day hunting trip hundreds of miles away. I was COMPLETELY alone.

I'll tell you straight, it's been a tough week.

I want to eat for comfort, I want to workout, I want to ACTUALLY rest instead of feeling like I really got shortchanged and calling this crappy situation "getting some rest". Pain doesn't feel like rest. The squats I'm doing because I can't bend down don't feel like rest. The other muscles that are compensating for the sore ones.... Well, you get the point. This week I've felt ashamed for not taking better care of my body for a longer period of time. I've felt humiliated and I've felt helpless.

But somehow, a midst all of these things, I found a strand of gratitude. I was forced to call on people for help. And they helped! I had friends come over and make me dinner and unload the dishwasher. I had friends who prayed. A neighbor came over and helped me with some car issues that I couldn't tend to myself. I couldn't do it alone and I found that I'm part of a community. For that I'm tremendously grateful. I also found myself more patient with others - especially since I've had time to myself (too much time to myself). I've taken more time to pray for others who are struggling. I've taken time to count my blessings and be thankful that "this too shall pass" and that it's a reminder of WHY I'm working to become stronger and healthier.

I'm seeing progress...the pain is gradually subsiding and I'm hoping that what I lack in patience for recovery is made up for by gratitude. LOL In seriousness, perhaps the single most thing that I am grateful for is this: I'm not discouraged. I'm not tempted to just forget about this whole idea and go back to a sedentary life full of overeating. I'm not thrilled about the setback and how the lapse in activity will be challenging but I'm NOT giving up. In fact, I'm planning on getting back in the pool at 5am Monday morning!

So maybe the lesson is truly to set our eyes on hope and good things even during our struggles. And to participate and allow ourselves to be part of a community. Thank you for being a part of my SparkPeople community - for cheering me on and permitting me to encourage you in return!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMKATZMAN 12/16/2013 12:57PM

    Motorcycle?! you are a rock star!
Back pain is the worst. I watch my husband struggle through this, and it is such a set back. Hell, a cold is a terrible set back--back pain is ten times worse.
Did you get back in that pool?

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MINEA999 11/9/2013 2:39PM

    From someone who is unfortunately all too familiar with debilitating back pain, I definitely feel for you. I live alone too, so I know what it's like to feel a little useless and have to call people to come and help. It's nice though that it has given you the opportunity to recognize your good friends and family.

I hope you're feeling better soon!

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ADF1981 11/9/2013 11:21AM

    Sorry your back has been bothering you. One thing that I have to remind myself about being patient with anything is that the time will pass anyway whether I am waiting to feel better, trying to lose weight, etc. the time will pass anyway so make the best of it. So glad you were able to ask for help and so many stepped up to help you!

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JTAMSYN 11/9/2013 10:38AM

    Sorry to hear about your pain. Back pain is so debilitating. Its wonderful to see how people around you care. Feel better soon!

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WEARINGTHIN 11/9/2013 2:53AM

    Sounds like you've got some very good support. That's nice. Glenn

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