Friday, November 08, 2013
I hope all is well and I have been away for way to long. i had a really scary moment on Monday and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days. That was the first time in life that I really was scared of what my body was doing and this time. I am here at SP for an entirely different reason. I can't allow my body to go to that place again. I have to listen to it. So, here we go on another leg of my journey together again! I have managed to gain about 34 lbs since last March. How does one do that?? Well, I just sort of gave up. Shrugged off the importance and did what I felt like doing not what i needed to do. Well, that stops now!
I have offically gotten rid of all caffine so, I am hoping that helps with some of the anxiety of everything. Smaller meals and coping with other blood pressure and etc. I NEVER want to feel that way again and I am still shaken by it.
Everything now, even small pangs of pain, freaks me out (which triggers anxiety) and I want to know if that is normal compared to other things now, Well, maybe a week ago, I would of just dismissed it for an everyday thing.
The first place that I thought of for support was SP. Its always in the back of my mind. So, where I am not going to use it this time for counting every calorie and fitness calorie but, I am going to use it to check myself , communicate and for support. I also am feeling that through those channels losing weight will be a benefit. :)