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ILIKECACTI
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 22,304
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sad realization + increased determination + spark tracker

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Hi Spark-friends-

I had a sad realization 2 days ago. It was a comment from my husband (who is usually uber supportive) that kind of slapped me in the face. I made a comment starting with, "When I lose weight.... blah blah- *insert whatever here*". And he laughed. Laughed out of disbelief that I would actually lose the weight. And it hurt.

And then I realized that I have been trying to lose weight for 4 1/2 years- and I've lost and re-gained the same 10-15 lbs over and over.

It makes me sad to think about that. Everything else I set my mind to, I do it. But not this. This has just been too hard for me.

But then I got angry (on the inside). I've accomplished many things because of anger- other people not believing that I can do something is usually a HUGE source of motivation for me. So, I'm trying to save that biting laugh and channel it to determination.

I have to do this.

So, now on to the spark tracker. I think I like this better than the Body Media fit. I think it's challenging me more.

With the BodyMedia Fit, it counted all activity over a certain level as exercise- which translated into all the time I'm on my feet at work would be counted as work-out minutes- which would give me a false sense of security. I knew I should have dedicated actual work-out efforts in addition to my activity during a regular day (or night, depending on the shift), but I would see the numbers, and think, "well, that's good enough for now".

Also, being a naturally competitive person (not sure if that's a blessing or a curse), the Leader-boards are a source of motivation- pushing me to do more- and believe me, I NEED TO BE PUSHED. The weekly bronze, silver, and gold trophies, and trophies for cumulative miles are also pretty motivating.

Ok, so I'm coming to the end of a vacation (that included alot of vacation gluttony), so I'll make the trip home tomorrow, and then step on the scale for a rude awakening of how much I sabotaged myself yet again Saturday morning (because I only weigh myself in the morning), and then I will pick myself up and do better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BRENDY_28
    i have been yo-yoing too (as you know) and everytime i would tell my family that i'm going to lose weight, they have this expression of disbelief on their faces. It hurts, to be honest. So I don't tell them of my plans to lose weight. I just show them through actions (exercising and controlling myself when it comes to food). They still have their doubts if i can maintain this new lifestyle, but i know that they are also hoping that i succeed. I've come to accept the situation and consider that as one of my motivation (to prove that i can do it) emoticon
    1050 days ago
  • BLUBIRDY00
    Yay! Go you! SparkPeople is awesome! Use the trackers, they really help to pinpoint strengths and weaknesses. Enjoy your motivation! Keep up the great work! emoticon
    1051 days ago
  • GRNDMOM43
    emoticon We all have our trigger that spurs us on. Take whatever it is and use it to the fullest! emoticon
    1052 days ago
  • LITTLELENNA
    I have had that same slap in the face from my husband. It hurts, but it's the truth. I have been trying to lose weight for 20 years. I did it once. I can do it again.

    It's amazing how much anger can be a motivator. You can do it. emoticon emoticon
    1052 days ago
  • THINFITFEMINIST
    I too have gotten motivated by that sort of thing. Motivation out of anger. Motivation out of regret, guilt, fear, loss, blame, etc. It all works...initially.

    Finally I had to come to the cold hard fact that I am living my life doing the best I can for me.
    1052 days ago
  • NYARAMULA
    emoticon
    1052 days ago
  • SCRAPPER1124
    I was just thinking the same thing myself today. I think my family has heard I'm on a diet so many times they are like yeah, yeah, blah, blah. It's like the boy who cried wolf. I too have lost the same 10-15lbs but over the last 15 yrs ughhh. But here I am once again trying again I guess thats all we can do is get back in the saddle and hope this is the last restart. emoticon emoticon
    1052 days ago
  • CBRINKLEY401
    I find that anger and people telling me I can't do something are great motivators myself. Nothing like "I'll show them!!!" to jump start me. Good luck. I'm rooting for you!

    emoticon emoticon
    1052 days ago
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