Thursday, November 07, 2013
I had a sad realization 2 days ago. It was a comment from my husband (who is usually uber supportive) that kind of slapped me in the face. I made a comment starting with, "When I lose weight.... blah blah- *insert whatever here*". And he laughed. Laughed out of disbelief that I would actually lose the weight. And it hurt.
And then I realized that I have been trying to lose weight for 4 1/2 years- and I've lost and re-gained the same 10-15 lbs over and over.
It makes me sad to think about that. Everything else I set my mind to, I do it. But not this. This has just been too hard for me.
But then I got angry (on the inside). I've accomplished many things because of anger- other people not believing that I can do something is usually a HUGE source of motivation for me. So, I'm trying to save that biting laugh and channel it to determination.
I have to do this.
So, now on to the spark tracker. I think I like this better than the Body Media fit. I think it's challenging me more.
With the BodyMedia Fit, it counted all activity over a certain level as exercise- which translated into all the time I'm on my feet at work would be counted as work-out minutes- which would give me a false sense of security. I knew I should have dedicated actual work-out efforts in addition to my activity during a regular day (or night, depending on the shift), but I would see the numbers, and think, "well, that's good enough for now".
Also, being a naturally competitive person (not sure if that's a blessing or a curse), the Leader-boards are a source of motivation- pushing me to do more- and believe me, I NEED TO BE PUSHED. The weekly bronze, silver, and gold trophies, and trophies for cumulative miles are also pretty motivating.
Ok, so I'm coming to the end of a vacation (that included alot of vacation gluttony), so I'll make the trip home tomorrow, and then step on the scale for a rude awakening of how much I sabotaged myself yet again Saturday morning (because I only weigh myself in the morning), and then I will pick myself up and do better.