Thursday, November 07, 2013
Well, I've been told that posting blogs on SparkPeople will help. I have always been a fan of journalling, so I'm not sure I'm entirely sure I'm comfortable doing something similar here. So we'll see how it goes.
I got myself smacked around today by a friend who works at our town's Wellness Center, and who is a personal trainer. I know she means well, and I know she's RIGHT, which makes the shame and embarrasment and resentment even worse. I'm getting older, and so it's harder for me to lose the weight. I also was diagnosed as hypothyroid on Friday, so I'm on Synthroid now. Hopefully it'll help, but the hypothyroid issues will only HURT my weight loss efforts.
I know what to do...but convincing my mind that I can do it, that I NEED to do it, and that I'll SURVIVE doing it will be very hard. I've never stayed at a healthy weight since I was in elementary school. Who will I be without the extra weight? Will I still be me? How will I handle compliments, etc.? Part of me wants to find out, but another part says that it'll be too painful to find out that people still won't want to be friendly, etc., if I'm thin and healthy.
My exercise is all right, but my diet needs help. I know what I need to do--fewer calories and less fat (especially since I have no gallbladder!) but following through is very hard. I overthink and underact. It's mainly emotional and mindless eating. My meals are all right, but my snacks are out of control. Change seems overwhelming, and I don't believe I can succeed at keeping it off--after all, I've never been able to keep it off before!
SO, I'll try again. Small goals. My goals for tomorrow are:
--no going to the cafeteria for their delicious muffins, etc.
--being aware of how many nuts I'm eating.
--being aware of how my sore muscles feel during my weight training tomorrow, and being willing to cut it short if they protest.