Thursday, November 07, 2013
So I found something out today that I think is rather important to me being able to further recover from the ladder injury. It still may take a while to deal with the emotions and feelings of it but in time I hope to feel better.
I happened to walk into the back room at work today and the manager saw me duck away from the ladder that this new kid was moving, same one that fell on me. So he explained to him why I reacted that way. I didn't mind that, no big deal. But to find out the reason that the ladder fell on me was not in fact something that I did was news to me. All this time I have been playing the what if game with myself. Almost seven months later and I find out that it was because someone threw a box towards the compactor area which is where the safety step was that I was getting to offload the truck. The tall ladder was leaned up against the racking there and the box caused it to tip and fall down on me. I guess my manager saw it and tried to tell me but it happened so fast that I had no time to react. Took me a good couple of hours to stop fuming over the news. They couldn't have told me this months ago?! Oh and what about talking to employees about workplace safety. I hope whoever it was they realize that it was not a good decision on their part, but somehow I doubt that.
Physically I am still in pain from this ladder incident, even though it has been almost seven months. This last week has made it clear to me that I really should not be doing all these things at work like heavy lifting and bending. I am supposed to be under restrictions for a 10 pound limit but being short handed and on a time limit it seems like there is no way that I can completely follow it even though I really should be. This week I have been in so much pain in my lower back and hip, most likely siatica but I am trying to get in to see an orthopedic doctor about my hip. Also with the constant lifting my shoulders and neck have been taking a beating too. To give you an idea of how active I am at work, I put in over 11,500 steps from midnight to 5:30am today. Tonight I am working another 8 hours overnight to hopefully finish up this seasonal truck delivery.
It's no secret that my weight loss journey hasn't been going so swell lately. I just haven't had the energy to focus on it. In the moment it seems easier to grab whatever food and go on with my day. Now, when I say whatever food, I don't mean completely junky stuff, just more snacky type things instead of a real meal. I know somehow I have to find my way back to being focused in order to lose more weight. I am proud of myself for staying in the same range, I have kept off 20 pounds that I have lost so I haven't slid too far. I just haven't made any progress in the past 2 months.
I am thinking about going back to the chiropractor tomorrow afternoon as it has been almost a month since I was there last. I know one adjustment isn't going to fix me but with this high level of pain maybe it will provide me with a little bit of relief. I mean there are days where I am practically in tears from the pain after a days of work.
I don't have much of a chance to relax this weekend as I get done at 5am tomorrow (Friday) and have to work at 5am on Sunday again. Another 5 days streak from Sunday through Thursday. Looks like I have off Friday and Saturday unless they try and talk me into working. I think I will "have plans out of town with family" by then. lol. The $$ is going to be nice as I am working towards paying off debt but not sure the pain is really worth it. My goal though is to at least have my two medical bills paid (about $200 worth) and also one credit card (about $400 worth). That leaves me a medical credit card (dental work) with about $3,600 and then my student loans. Oh and a small bill for getting new phones a couple months ago that I am fixing to pay off in the next couple of months too.
Anyway, my main point here I guess is that I have to get back to losing weight. I can't take the frustration of gaining/losing/gaining/losing day in and day out. I do plan to get back to paleo. I notice I haven't really been enjoying any food that I am eating so why am I doing this to myself, forcing myself to feel like crap? I could be doing better, I know that. At least on Paleo I felt a sense of relief that food didn't control me as much. Why I am having problems switching my eating back, I am not sure. Maybe it's just the exhaustion from working and the pain (with the occasional muscle relaxers to help ease the intensity) that have thrown me off. Then again one could argue that if I give Paleo eating a week I will feel better and have more energy. Pretty much a catch 22 there.
Hopefully in the coming weeks I will see some progress in trying to get medical help for my pain and what I am dealing with. Getting into seeing the orthopedic is in the works, picked up my medical records yesterday. Just have to be approved by the almighty workers comp adjuster. Good grief Charlie Brown. I have gone to two sessions at therapy. Well, the first was the assessment and the second one just a talk session. It really didn't get me anywhere so far. November 14th is my next session. I got a few calls on Halloween from the therapist claiming that I missed my appointment, but it was his mistake so he took me out of the computer for that day (I told him I wasn't driving around during trick or treat hours). Besides he gave me an appointment card that clearly said the 14th. Sheesh. Not sure if I will get along well with him yet or not. He never really said anything about the assessment so I will definitely be asking him this next time. Still dealing with the self injury, not quite as often but still a problem. Apparently it's not of importance to them so whatever.
Anyway, time for me to get off and rest before working tonight. Hopefully I will get around to spark for a while this weekend, seems like the more I spark the more on track I become. Worth a shot, right?!