Thought for the day that I read in a blog "Instead of glass half-empty, I think this glass might be broken because it keeps dripping all over me." Right now it seems like I need a new glass.
My life has always been busy, the oldest of 5 with a working mother, working my way through college, getting married, having a child and continuing to work, progressing through higher levels of responsible jobs while teaching college classes part time.
Then after I retired, I threw myself into volunteer jobs that kept me busy and involved. Last June, after 4.5 years, the volunteer organization changed and I decided to leave. During the same time my DH acquired (not by choice) some physical limitations so we cannot do some of the activities we have always done together and it has been a year of getting him healthy. Since then I have had more time to do nothing.
In fact I found myself not reading every minute, watching less television, scheduling fewer social events, and coming to the realization that I really didn’t know what kind of schedule I wanted to have. So I have been trying to figure out what I want my life to look like. I do have a wonderful DH, a beautiful DD, a fun SIL and a cute grandson, friends, family I like to see and a nice place to live. So this is about I want in my own personal daily schedule and what kind of glass I want to own and how I want to fill it.
At first it seemed important to find another volunteer organization to commit to but I have been resisting it. Then DJan who writes the Eye on the Edge blog (link below) had a recent post on the time change and her words really hit me. When I read DJan’s blog she really wrote out what I have been feeling:
"if I were to look closely at the way I structure my days, I might wonder if I should be spending time volunteering to an important cause, or perhaps making a difference in the world around me. The news sometimes causes me anxiety, because this world we live in needs people who are willing to make it a better place. I've got the ability but not the willingness. Am I wrong? Should I be living my life differently? Sometimes I really wonder about this. Well, this day of falling back, rather than springing ahead, has become one of contemplating my daily life. I've done that today, using my extra hour to think about where I'm going..."
In the busy times of living there was never a good time to think about what I really wanted to do. In the past I have done crafts, had hobbies, been involved with my family, organized social events, joined groups, belonged to organizations, took classes and was responsible in my community. So I know how to do all these types of activities and I enjoyed doing them. Yet right now I am not motivated to join or commit to anything. I have been feeling guilty about taking the time to explore but it feels right.
I did get my weight back to a healthy number and my daily exercise minutes are up (thanks to SP and Sparklers help) so I am feeling great. And I have been taking the time to look at issues around maintaining a healthy weight which is difficult at any age. Being 66 and retired allows me the time to explore. So I am taking the time right now to use the extra hours I have to think about what I want to add into my daily life.
If you can take a small amount of time and just sit quietly, think about what you would like in your daily life. Maybe it won't happen today, but it is good to know what your glass needs to look like and what you would like in it.
Eye on The Edge blog eyeontheedge.blogspot.co