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SOULFISH80
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Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Made quite the discovery recently about my eating habits. I've been back to tracking my food daily, for the last 3 or so weeks. I haven't been consistent in this area in a really long time, and am fully convinced that this is crucial to weight loss...........I know, I know, I'm a slow learner. So, what I've learned is that many days I do not eat enough food. I know this sounds bizzare for an overweight person to say, but it is definitely true. I am eating approximately the same way I've eaten most of my adult life...........just being slightly more conscientious about quality of food and freggies, but overall about the same. The main difference now is not really what I eat, because I've been a decently healthy eater most of my life, not perfect, but not horrendous, I love veggies, salads, whole grains and lean meats, always have. It is not what I eat that is causing all of my problems, it's how I eat. Skipping breakfast, small lunch, medium dinner, graze the rest of the night. Or skip breakfast, small lunch, small dinner, repeat for a day or so and then binge for 1 or 2 days straight. My eating is all out of whack. I am forcing myself to constantly store food because I am constantly starving and binging, and repeating this cycle every week for years. I starve because I don't want to be fat, and I binge because I'm starving. I am really quite sad realizing that this is how I've been treating my body. Tracking calories and paying attention to the carb/fat/protien daily ration has really opened my eyes to my unhealthy behavior. I can't believe how often I would grossly undereat, only to binge in the next day or two because I was literally starving my body of the nutrition it needed. By eating breakfast, lunch and dinner I am slowly begining to see what my body needs to feel good. And that if I eat enough calories at breakfast and lunch, I have no desire to binge after dinner. I am seeing that my weight issue is not just about eating too much, but about not nurishing my body with the nutrients it needs for sustained energy. It's really, really interesting to wake up to the realization of why I am where I am health wise. I truly had no idea that the way I ate, not necessarily what I ate was the cause of my weight gain.

So, this is a brand new revelation, that will take some concentrated effort to remedy. I've always hated breakfast with a passion, but I am begining to see that the better my breakfast is, the better the rest of my eating for the day is. So this seems to be a very crucial meal to make count. On a side note, LOVE my olive oil spray. Been using that to cook my omelets, instead of butter like I've used my whole life. Wow, what an easy way to cut tons of calories without noticing a taste difference at all. I really love that little cooking tip. Also, omelets are great for any meal........hmmmm, never thought of that before but it is so true. Very satisfying, very easy, you can add any veg, meat or cheese to it and it's great. Man, gotta love waking up to simple new ways to get healthier and feel better.

Gonna ride up the Oregon and back tomorrow with hubs. It makes a really long day, but we seem to be so enjoying eachother and I want to soak all this great communicating time up. He's been really, really chatty and opening up about all kinds of things. Something about this whole moving process has really got us both in a great mood, and really appreciating eachother. It's been an amazing blessing for me. We have spent atleast half of our marriage apart, with him driving over the road. It is really amazing to find out that when we do spend excessive amounts of time together, communicating and being real, that we are even more in love than we thought we were. OK, mushytime, but my marriage is a source of great pride for me. It's taken a lot of sacrafice on both our parts to keep this relationship strong, despite everyone else doubting us every step of the way. So yeah, we hit 10 years this year, and the fact that I truly love him more now than when we first met, that is really a dream come true to me.

So, gonna spend tomorrow with the hubs. Got my meals for the day planned out. I'm sure it's going to be another gorgeous ride to Oregon. As you head north it just gets more and more delightful for the eyes each mile you get closer to Oregon. This time of year is a wonderland up there.

Hope you guys are learning new and wonderful things about your health and your hearts! Cheers to us, in all our glory, trials, laughs and pain, for each step we take in consciousness towards our goals, is a present that only we can give ourselves. Hugs.

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