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    CHERYLE51   25,268
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Our New Normal

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Today was the first day of our new "normal". My DH did not have to go to the nursing home after work today. He was so mixed up he forgot that he had to pick up our DD from college today. She had to call. I think DH needs a hobby, what I don't know, to keep him busy and his mind off of his mother. He is now in the grieving stage of trying to figure out why and what if the nursing home had missed something since his mother was coughing, but the chest x-ray's were negative. I have assured him that at 95 there was really nothing more that could have been done. Death certificate lists sepsis and E Coli as the cause of death.
Thank you to all my Spark friends for your wishes.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRIS3215 11/9/2013 8:54AM

    So sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayer's are with you and your family.

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FITMARY 11/7/2013 3:31PM

    I hope you can find the strength to support him. It sounds like she was blessed with both a long life and a loving family.
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NELLJONES 11/7/2013 7:41AM

    I would bet that your hubby's mother would rather have died before her children died. That is the natural way of life, hard as it is to accept the changes. One day it will be us in the nursing home with our children around us. What would you want from them in that situation? Losing a parent is an irreversible indication that time is passing.

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JIBBIE49 11/7/2013 1:44AM

    I worked in a nursing home as a nurse and what I seen when a family insisted that their parent have EVERY POSSIBLE TREATMENT to have them hang on just a little longer was just pathetic. When a person gets to be 95, they have a right to say enough is enough. I will never forget one lady who was 105, whose DD who was 85 came ever single day to visit her even though she was sick herself. We had orders to feed this old woman and make sure she ate everything so she didn't "go down hill faster." I was trying to feed her and she looked at me and said in a very plain clear voice "LET ME DIE!" I told her, Darling, I will let you stop now if you want. I thought making her eat was abuse. She passed on a week later, since the other staff members kept forcing her to eat.

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DANCINCAJUN1 11/6/2013 10:10PM

    emoticon i totally understand as my DH went through that last year ... just be close for him .. roc

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ELISADENK 11/6/2013 8:40PM

    emoticon

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DISCOVERLLH 11/6/2013 8:26PM

    Your poor hubby! I don't know if he needs a hobby right now...I think he needs a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Nothing takes away the pain of losing your mother (if she was a good one) except time. She certainly lived a long life and was obviously loved. I do wonder where your MIL picked up the E Coli. Was the nursing home negligent in that regard? My heart goes out to your whole family. emoticon How long will DD be home?

Comment edited on: 11/6/2013 8:28:36 PM

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KAREN608 11/6/2013 7:50PM

    He's been so used to having her in his life, it will be a big change. He will find a new routine when he is ready.
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KARENE10 11/6/2013 7:13PM

    Sending Prayers! It sounds as if she had a nice long life. And I guess everyone always wonders if there was something more that they could have done. emoticon

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GRANDMAFRANNY 11/6/2013 6:16PM

    OH WOW !! SEPSIS ? MY MOM DIED FROM THAT, TOO. I NEVER KNEW YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME BUT MY THOUGHT'S, PRAYER'S & emoticon GO W/ YOU. IT'LL TAKE A WHILE FOR ALL THIS TO SINK IN. THEY SAY "TIME HEAL'S ALL WOUND'S " DOES IT ? BUT I AM HERE FOR YOU, KID. GOD BLESS YOU ALL . emoticon .

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