Wednesday, November 06, 2013
I am sitting here,,, kinda SHOCKED over how the past 2 yrs have gone. I am looking for help at my home. The person who came by today, had my old records. Now I've been with SPARKS for 3 yrs,,,, and about 1 1/2 yr ago,,,i was down to 170 !!!! Than I had the stroke,,,, and got VERY SCARED !! I turned at once, to an old friend ,, "FOOD" !!!! And than I moved from Maine to Colorado,, with "Family" who were supposed to help "me out" , but instead I ended up bein ripped off from them financially,, as is often the case with "family" who do not always care about ur well being as they "had said", but rather just wanted $$$$ from me. well of course that TOOK ME BACK !! And I ATE more.
A few months, ago, I finally got back into my own place,,, with NO "family" living with me. Thanfkully the rip off's are still in CO, and may they STAY THERE !!!
So my weight during these past 1 1/2 yr,, had gone from that 170 up to 224 !!! That's 52LBS !! WHAT HAPPENED????? Why did I NOT See this,,,or CARE???? I SHOULD OF !!! I know emotionally things were very hard. Still I feel a LOT OF ANGER over this towards the way "I REACT to stress".
At this point, this week,,,, I woke up yesterday,, feeling very unwell physically,,, I could not move my right side easily,, and it scared the woohoooo out of me. So yest and today, I've been eating ALL WRONG. I NEED to get it back together,,,, and eat correctly. I had recently gone from that 224 down to 207.25. I DO NOT NEED to go BACK UP and yet, this week,,, I MAY do that,, ,all cos I've gotten so scared. My eating habits as it is,, is atrocious as my Mom has always told me. I am the QUEEN of NOT eating healthy. Freggies gag me in general. Though tonight for supper,,,Ill do my best to swallow a salad.
Words of wisdom? Things which work for you when ur under a lot of stress?