Tuesday, November 05, 2013
I am so tired and eating crazy the last two days and so scared..Trying to stay positive and keep on pushing but tonight, I just feel like I am crashing. Oh I will be fine in the morning. It is what I do best, start over.
My hubby's foot ulcer is not healing. His body is swelling and even double water pills are not helping. The wound clinic doctor made us stay there until he called our reg doctor and I think he wanted to put him in the hospital but instead our reg. doctor wants to see him Monday. The wound clinic doctor was not happy and he told me if he had trouble breathing, got dizzy or anything different call an ambulance immediately. He sees the kidney doctor Wednesday because he had to cancel last Wednesday. Then our regular doctor again Monday.
My son in law who is only 41 had a mini stroke yesterday. He is in the hospital. he could not see or move. He can today but his eyes are still blurry. They are taking tests because they think it might lead to more.
My sister has been passing out off and on for a week. She already has enough problems without this too.
I can't stop eating this last two days and hate myself for it. My sugar is up, I have a tremendous headace and toothache. They can't pull my teeth because I take a daily aspirin unless I go to a specialist and I don't have Medicaid so I can't do that either. It acts up for a couple of days and then goes away. I am so tired and I just feel like I am letting my two teams down on the challenges. the only thing I am doing right is exercising 100 min. a day and trying to keep positive for others. Tomorrow is weigh in and I am pretty sure I won't lose..I just hope I at least did not gain.
I feel like just giving it all up but I can't because I will disappoint myself and others.
I am sorry, I just feel so aweful right now that I needed to put this down. It doesn't mean that I will not be there for all of you. I just need to take tomorrow off and I wanted you all to know.
I will try and do the challenges and I did post tomorrows challenge but I probably won't be in the chat rooms. I will probably be fine in the morning. I think I am just tired but not going to jump into quitting or giving up. I just need to get some extra sleep. I got up early this morning and went to bed late and got up a couple of times.
Thanks for listening to my little rant. I am really not looking for sympathy. I don't want to feel sorry for myself and that is not what I am doing. I am just so scared because I am doing what hubby is and just eating. It is stupid and I know it but I can't seem to stop. Going to try just drinking tomorrow until this calms down...smoothies and water , if I can.
Thank you all for the great words of comfort you always give me. Namaste, Pam