Tuesday, November 05, 2013
So, Halloween happened. And then I went to visit friends in Cleveland for the weekend, where they had a belated Halloween party. I fell off the mainly plant-based wagon. Especially in the dairy department. I gorged on cheesy pizza, ice cream, cake (with frosting, naturally), and of course, lots of Halloween candy. I am feeling it, too...more sluggish, more achy in my joints. I'm also having trouble stopping. I got home yesterday after flying home (flying stresses me out anyway, so that didn't help the situation) and promptly ordered pizza because I didn't feel like cooking.
Why do I self-sabotage? I have no idea. I know I shouldn't do it, I know that it's bad for me, but undoing a lifetime of bad habits means I'll have inevitable slip-ups. Right? Right?
And the thing is, even though I really don't like cheese all that much anymore--it's slimy, it's salty, and I really don't like the flavor or texture of it--I couldn't stop myself from eating it. I don't get it. Now I'm stuck trying to backtrack and detox from all the crap I put in my body over the last few days.
I need to plan ahead and figure out how I need to eat when I travel. I switched to vegetarian the last couple of times I've traveled, and I've allowed myself to make poor decisions within that guideline. LIke the ice cream. Like the cheese. When I have more control over my food--not having to rely on others or restaurants for my meals--I do better. Even when traveling--when we visit the Outer Banks, we are able to bring our own food.
I know what I did wrong, and I know what needs to be done to fix it. However, I'm still in the binge. Perhaps it's because my fiance is on the other side of the world--literally: he's in Hong Kong--and I miss his presence and his ability to keep me in line food-wise. I tend to eat worse when he's not around. Another form of self-sabotage, I realize.
Time to stop. I can do this. I have allowed myself to slip, but it's time to stop the slide and get back on track.