Tuesday, November 05, 2013
I wasn't blessed with the best parents and maybe that's why I've become the parent I am today. I always knew that when I had kids someday that I'd make each and everyone of them feel special and loved.
God blessed me with only one child but had I had more my love would of been equal , no favorites because each child is a gift, but unfortunately that's not how my parents saw it, if you were a boy you were put upon a pedestel and if you were a girl oh well... It even held true with the grand kids my niece was also treated like crap.
Since the day I heard found out I was pregnant I told that little miracle that he or she was loved already, when I started bleeding and thought I might lose him or her I prayed so hard for the blood test to double, triple in numbers because I didn't want to lose such a beautiful gift.
When they told me he was okay I thanked god because we had prayed so hard to get pregnant and this little angel was going to be wanted more then anything else in life.
We were blessed with our son and when he was in my tummy he was told the words I love you and everyday since then.
There hasn't been a day that's gone by that he hasn't heard it multiple times a day, out of the blue my husband or I will say it to him and out of the blue he'll come out and say it.
I get a kiss every evening before bed , I get food rubs if I'm screaming in pain (without being asked for them) I'm told every night to have sweet dreams and he takes care of me when my hubby isn't around to get me my pills or heat up my neck wrap.
I didn't become my parents, I broke the mold... it's so important to show love and not just say the words, but it's also very important to say them and mean them.
I made both my hubby and my son what I call a box of love, in this special box I have put down things that have made me proud of them, things I love about them, things they've done that have made me smile and made me cry with joy.
Sometimes people don't take the time to say the things they need to before someone dies or before you die.
I wrote these notes out in my handwriting because if god forbid I should pass I'd never want my son to ever feel like I do that he wasn't loved or cared about.
He has these little notes in my handwriting saying how important he is to me , how much I love him and how proud he's made me to be his mom.
Love is a strong feeling , Love is a strong word if it's really meant and to show love is even more important.
I wasn't shown much love by my parents and siblings, it wasn't said often because it wasn't meant. I was never told I could do or be anything it was always you can't do that your not smart enough and because of that I believe I'm in such pain cause I settled to work in a factory for many years and it really hurt my body to do so.
It wasn't till I met my husband and had someone love me for me, believe in me that I went back to school and was on the Dean's list (the girl that was always told she wasn't smart enough by my parents).
I wonder what my life might be like sometimes had I been brought up with parents that truly loved me and believed in me, I honestly think I wouldn't of had a weight problem because when you have someone who is constantly putting you down, making you feel worthless my escape was food and when I look back at the little girl in pictures I honestly don't see a fat little girl, I see a healthy one but my mother use to say such horrible things, I'm so glad I didn't grow up to be her.
We've always told my son he can do or be anything because we believe in him and love him with all our hearts and with hard work and determination he can be all he can be.
We make time for our son, something my dad didn't do and something my mom didn't really want to do with me.
So take sometime today, tell someone you care about how much they mean to you and how much you love them, because those 3 little words are soooooooo strong! It honestly could make a huge difference in their life and make time with no phone, no TV just you...