Monday, November 04, 2013
For years, while I was growing up, I was stifled and not allowed to grow into the person that I felt I should've been. I had to share a room with my sister, and she was such an over bearing person, that she squashed my spirit and I was deflated the whole time I was around her. There was no self worth, NONE WHAT SO EVER!!!
I remember being in the 4th grade and they were teaching the kids how to attempt to play a musical instrument, and I was really interested in the violin, and I went home so excited and asked mom and dad if I could learn how to play the violin! My mom stomped out my enthusiasm and my dream. She wouldn't let me, and when I asked her why, the only response I received was, "Because, I don't think it's a good thing for you."
All the while I was growing up in school, I was constantly being compared to my brother, 1 year older, and my sister, 10 months younger than me. Even the teachers, we all had the same teachers, asked what happened to me, and why I couldn't be like my brother or sister. Squashing sequence, again!!!
Even when it came time to go to college, both my brother and sister were given the opportunity go, from my parents, but they didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. Years later we found out that my brother and sister didn't want to even go to college, and they felt like they were forced to go, and here I sat, the only child that really wanted to go to college, but wasn't given the chance.
When I enlisted in the Army, and they told me that they were going to send me to school, I started getting a bit out of sorts, because I had never been a good student, in my school years. I struggled every day, trying to figure out how I was going to learn to get though this. Well, the way they taught me was invigorating, and I soaked everything up like a sponge, retained it, and graduated 3rd out of 350 men and women. In fact the instructors had me up teaching the classes, so they could spend a one on one time with the other students. THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY, IN MY LIFE THAT I DIDN'T FEEL WORTHLESS!!!
When I got out of the service and came to GA, I was working at Progressive Christian Academy. There was a lady there by the name of Rev. Gail T. Smith. She saw something in me, and she nurtured my entire being, spirit, soul, and body. I began to slowly blossom. Then Rev. Gail T. Smith, became Pastor Gail T. Smith. The south HATES women preachers and pastors, and the Baptist Coalition tried to stomp on her and push her under the bus and kill her spirit, but GOD shielded her and she went straight on through with blazing glory, and the men on the board didn't know what hit them. She founded a church, which is still flourishing today. She was my Shepherd for 15 years, and the whole time, she never neglected me. She would prune me back, which only made me stronger. She molded me, encouraged me, brought things out of me that I never had any idea were there. She shaped me and is a distinctive part of who I am TODAY!!!
I realize that if I had not gone through all the hardships in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today! I'm very confident that GOD and Pastor Gail, were the two, who enlighten me most. I know what I went through you could say was discouraging, but what Satan made to harm be, God turned it around for His glory and my good. I wouldn't change one single solitary bit of my life, as I would've missed out on the FANTASTIC relationships I have with each and every one of you!!! You're my BONUS!!!