NEVERNOTBROKEN
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UGH

Monday, November 04, 2013

It kinda hurt to just take down the pictures of my 20, 40, 50, 60, 70 & 80 lb goals, but I feel that it's not fair to keep them up. Yes I earned them previously but now I'm starting over and I'll need to earn them again. I'm sure I will eventually but I guess that could give me perspective of why I need to pay attention to me at all times. Not get sucked into the emotional games that I've been sucked into in the past.
I've done that dance with those people in particular most of my life, and I subsequently have been overweight most of my life. Its time to stop giving away my power. And in the moment that is a very easy thing for me to say, but it's always a very difficult thing for me to do. There is a part of me that wants to keep my journey here private and secretive from those people in my life for fear that they will attempt to sabotage me even further, and there is another part of me (that's kind of a brat) that says "Effe them" and almost wants to challenge them. But the adult in me knows that is nothing more than self sabotage and so I'll quietly type away and share my journey with those of you that are on a similar path. Thanks for reading, for all of your support and for sharing your stories.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MSHEL7
    I know exactly what you mean by your comments about those around you sabotaging you even more for the knowing and you sabotaging yourself if you do tell them. I also understand the need to take down your accomplishments, when starting over even if you did earn them. It's an internal need for me, I've had to take down numbers too. I'm proud of you for starting over.
    1131 days ago
  • APACHESTEVE
    Good for you for starting over. I've lost count of how many times that my journey has required a restart. Perhaps you need some new friends who understand the battle? I'd be happy to call you friend if some new voices would help.
    1131 days ago
  • FINCHFEEDER80
    I know how hard it is to start over. And I'm glad we can be here to listen and support you! You will definitely earn those trophies back, and we'll be here every step of the way to cheer you on!

    emoticon emoticon
    1131 days ago
  • JLHODKINSON
    Hang in there! Nobody has your best interests at heart as well as you do, and that's a life lesson I have to learn over and over again.
    1132 days ago
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