Sunday, November 03, 2013
Well at least all of this stress has made me lose a lot of weight? Ugh. Saw the ex today. split a veggie omelette for breakfast + one pc toast + some potato
for dinner I ate a little bit of lentil soup, 1/2 ques and a mini tamale, and a meatless chicken thing. More food than I've had in a while. I know, I know, I need to be more balanced. +1 sip chocolate milk
I got apples and grapes today from the store + some other things, and hard-boiled some eggs this morning. I am super super behind in stuff, but I'm trying. I really want to lose the last 2 lbs to be at 30 lbs lost for my endocrinologist appt later in Nov. That is from July 11th when they told me I was pre-diabetic. She said I needed to lose 30 to get out of that range, so that's what I'm trying. I have a nutrition appt tomorrow. I think I just need to drink more water/eat more variety. I just really have not been needing much, and would like to keep it this way.
I know this is stereotypical, but it feels nice to be in control of one thing at least, and that's the weight loss. I drank too much this weekend and was SUPER hungover these past 2 days. First times really drinking since this all happened. At the party last night I found out a few ppl had seen him cheating and didn't tell me. I just don't know what to react with. I left the party last night after everyone was shacking up. There was a guy I was interested in, but I explicitly asked him if he had a girlfriend and he did. WHY WOULD YOU NOT LEAD WITH THAT?! ugh. so scummy. Just really hate this single thing if this is what it drives people to.
I need to make some small goals and just really start implementing them one by one. It is really sucking to keep getting passed over by people bc of my weight. I know it shouldn't matter as much, but it does. I mean if I'm going to be honest, I am just not super attracted to overweight guys, so I think it's kind of a personal preference thing. I think I'm putting out the desperate vibes though. I NEED to stop doing that. But it's hard to stop when I actually do feel desperate lolol. I feel like it's kind of looking in place of comfort. This is a slippery slope, I need to readjust.