Since joining SP in mid September I knew that I knew that I was going to make a big change in my life. My earlier blogs reflect someone who (through prayer) had a 'lightbulb' moment, a 'revelation' resulting in a breaking out from denial - this crucial step was needed for me to move forward and it was a long time coming.
I was out of control, my weight was piling on at a rapid rate and I needed to take a good, hard and honest look at myself.
I saw the 'truth' that I was not being accountable or true to myself and I was not taking control of my situation or my life's direction. As a friend put it recently 'if you don't have a plan, you are like a dead fish floating on the water'. And as I aptly put it back to them 'if you don't make decisions for yourself, someone else will make them for you'.
I don't want to be that dead fish and I don't want to live a life that someone else has created for me because I've passively accepted it. I want to find my purpose and pursue it. Those are big words and I could be at the beginning of a positive mid life crisis! How good would that be!
The further I go into this journey the more I realise only I can change things for myself and for that to happen I need to take action - even if it is 10 minutes a day, every day of every year for the rest of my life.
I saw the truth that I could no longer keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
The brink of my transformation began only because my desire to change became so much stronger than my desire to remain the same. And there starts the battle which I will win!
It is amazing how quickly things accumulate if they are done consistently enough and from these regular actions there are many tangible and intangible results. It is like ripples on water when you throw a rock in - they get wider and wider and cover more and more ground without any extra effort on your part.
There may be obvious signs of progress such as physical weightloss and increased muscle tone or there could be things like improved self - esteem, increased motivation, an increased wish for good-will to others, a grateful heart or a new cheerful disposition and positive outlook on life. At the moment I've got all of the above going on and I like it!
All of these things manifest through us and into other people. Now I can see why some people I am drawn to and others I am not. Some lift me up and I want what they've got (just as often they are drawn to me because they want what I've got) and others pull me down and I want to get away from them.
The more I open up and unlock the truth about myself by becoming completely accountable and true to myself, the more my light is shining out.
I don't know what's in stall on the rest of my journey through life but I feel that it's going to be BIG! And although I can't see any of it happening right now, I know that I know that God is working in the background and all will be revealed in His perfect timing.
I feel like a child in a fun park again, the weight is lifting in a physical sense and in a metaphysical sense.
I can feel my light shining brighter.
Have a great day/night everyone and never give up on your own transformation!