Sunday, November 03, 2013
So, did some serious self facing today. Haven't changed my weight ticker since May of this year. Which means I haven't lost any weight since May of this year. I was under the impression for quite some time that I was the same weight I'd been for the last two years give or take 5 pounds here and there. My scale wasn't working for a few months, so I had no conrete way to track my weight. I went back to my weight tracker from May, and according to what I weighed last Monday, I gained 24 pounds from May to November. I did loose 4 of those pounds this week. So that is an even 20 pound gain in 6 months. I'm trying to not be in denial. It started with going gluten free, then the blood donation fiasco, and now my busted ankle that has kept me from exercising to my full capacity for 3 weeks now. So, I accept the reality. Am a bit sad that this happened, but am really glad that I have a plan to remedy the situation. If this had happened before I found SP I think I would be about to crawl out of my skin in desperation. But, I'm facing the facts and putting my plan for goal attainment into place. I've been doing well in many ways, and just need to continue. I wouldn't have lost the 4 pounds this week if I wasn't currently on track, so I must keep this up. I also stopped taking my medication. And am relying on it at an as needed basis, which is what it is intended for anyway. This is the 5th day without it, and the hunger pangs are noticeably lessened. (Gained over 80 pounds in 4 years after begining to take this medicine on a daily basis.)
So, even though change, and excitement and joy and all kinds of great things are swirling about me, must not put my weight/health on the back burner. And I'm not planning to. I've already got next weeks meals planned, and have been sticking to my calorie range everyday for a few weeks now. I have been getting relatively steady fit mins in, considering I'm still not stable on my ankle. And I've been making a solid effort to drink and track 8+ cups of water per day. Not too bad. I know the last 6 months have been filled with some pitfalls, and it has negatively affected my weight/health, but the last 6 months are over. New chapter, new life, new future, new me. I hope the 4 pound loss this week is just the begining of greater and greater health for my future.
So, there it is, honest, not too much self loathing. Accepting the facts without wallowing in the poor me/why me/or damn me aspects of weight gain. I feel the winds of positive change in my life. And it all starts with me. I've finally adjusted my weight tracker to accurately reflect where I am, right now, today. So, that is a step in the right direction, denial got me nowhere, and fast.
Have a beautiful Sunday. Hugs. Cheers.