Sunday, November 03, 2013
Off the track doesn't even do justice to how far back I slid. I was feeling so much better with my 82 lb loss. I was moving, grooving, eating healthier and feeling so positive. Last November (2012) I broke. I was shields down in all my own joy and allowed external emotionally charged attacks in and allowed them to devastate me. I don't think at this point details are important publicly but I know what went wrong.
At any rate, here I am. I made it back. It's hard, humbling, and while I feel I would encourage anyone else to embrace the positive that they are starting over, I'm disappointed in myself for having to start over.
Of the 82 lbs I got rid of, I regained 64. Bright side; at least I didn't gain back more than I lost.
I recently got in with a hospital that has plans specific to low/no income patients and have been trying to get my health as a whole on track. Good news: no diabetes and no high blood pressure, bad news is high cholesterol. So just another reason to really get back on board.
I'm now "down" to one little boy that I watch but he's now 19 months old (WHERE DID THAT TIME GO??) and he's GO GO GO GO from the second he wakes up. I need to be able to keep up with him more than I've been able.
So, yeah. Here's me. Starting over. Remembering it IS doable. Trying to remember that I am worth the work.
Love and light to you all and all the best in your own journey.