Sunday, November 03, 2013
this is Day 3 of a 21 day of questions to help me to BETTER MYSELF !!
3. What is your big picture, long-term goal? Why is this goal the one you work towards?
THANKS Leslienore (Chandra) For posting the blog with these ?s !
My big Picture, had to CHANGE !! It WAS "So I could walk", but I did some walking on Mon,,,it just felt SOOO GOOD !! BUT !! I've been DOWN AND OUT Since,,,, and today is SATURDAY !! So I am now coming out to know,, that walking is not going to be for me. Sure I do walk a tiny bit around my apt,,,, but, there are those days I also use my chair in apt. Its just necessary.
SO now,,, I need to RETHINK my goals. Long term? I WANT to move around EASIER though it will NOt be with walking. I ALSO FEAR my future,,,, that the day MAY come when I can no longer do much for myself,,, and the LAST THING I WANT is for someone to make a remark of "I CAN NOt HELP HER !! She WEIGHTS TO MUCH" !!! That'd simply be WAY TO EMBARRASSING FOR ME !!!! B4 the car accident (Hit by an 18 wheeler) ,,, and I was age 32,,, I was at 115 lbs,, and at first though we were hurt,,,, and both took off 3 months from work,,,, slowly we both were able to get back to full time,, over the months. BUT !! Than both my friend,,, and myself within the yr,,, started to get worse and worse,,,,,,, and each yr,, that unfortunately continues for the both of us. We both ended up in chairs,, about the same time,,,for dif reasons. For me,,,, I had fractured my back as a teen,, and the car accident moved that a slight bit around,,, and now it's very painful again. We tried a TON of steroids,, and that just made me GROW AND GROW !! Also I had to leave work,,,, the pain was to much. I got very depressed leaving a job I LOVED and also the LOSS of a GREAT Income and my dreams of where I was to end up in management. On the antidepressants they SHOVED DOWN my throat,,, for I KEPT SAYING "HMMM NO !! I am GAINING WeiGHT" !!! They just INSISTED I DO SO. I was STUPID and did it. All the way up to 288lbs before I PUT MY FOOT DOWN !! And by then,, lets face it,, that foot HAD GROWN ! LOL
So now,,, I am working HARD to take this off. I have some SHORT range goals inbetween,,,, such as I needed to LEARN to like water,, ,it was SIMPLY DREADFUL to me, but now that HAS been ACCOMPLISHED and it's the DRINK of choice now.
I NEED to IMPROVE on Freggies,,, and SLOWLY I AM WORKING ON THAT !!! I need to be NOT SO FUSSY and such a "ROUTINE Eater" for I'll eat the SAME FOODS over and over for days,, weeks, even months.
I am "ok" on the amount of exer I do,,, and I do it according to how I am feeling. Of course it's NOt on my feet,, though I just read a blog about DANCING to MUSIC and I ADORE music but I KNOW if I EVEN TRY that,, I'll be to sick to do anything again for DAYS !! I do things I can do while in bed,,,, with slow stretches,,,, core work,, I DO A LOT of core work a day,,, so it'll help my back out and to NOT LOSE more than I HAVE !! I think right now,,, the work I had in CO,,, is coming back,, and I am starting to hunch back over. I can tell by the way I am holding my head,,, and amount of pain in the upper mid back. OH WELL !! It was GR8 at first !!!! I HOPE it does NOT go back to where it was !! I am WORKING ON ThAT with doing things SLOWLY on a foam roller.
There's HOPE AND I HAVE IT ! (OH I DID SAY NO TO the antidepressants they said to take,, but had a friend on an MAOI,,, and I tried it,,, it FIXED ME UP GR8. I am on this til today. If your ever at a shrinks office,, take a LOOKIES around,,, and see if you notice,, what I ALWAYS DO and I GET MAD !! How many are very overweight,,,,, GRRRRR !!!!)