Saturday, November 02, 2013
Let's see... I'm feeling some kind of way on this boring Saturday night. Thanks for reading.... I'm a BALL OF EMOTIONS right now
I'm in a new city, working in a new place. I'm newly married for almost 7 months and got married at 230 pounds and now I'm about 241 pounds. I'm a mother of 2 teenage boys who have mostly known me as an overweight mom to them. I wonder what they will think of me when they become adults, what will be their thoughts of me as their mother????
Will my sons only remember that their mom always struggled with being the "FAT MOM" all of their childhood. I've only been healthy 2 years out of their 14 & 13 years on this earth. What does that say about me, what will be their thoughts when they become parents??? I feel like a bad mom, a bad wife.
I sit here in tears.. My husband doesn't deserve to have a "FAT WIFE".. He's such handsome man & he deserves a healthy, fit wife. Why is it so difficult for me to find the determination to stay focused. I found out I have tendinitis in my left foot & meant no working out this week but I need to get back on that wagon because I have to complete this journey.
I start off strong & then begin to fade.. I'm going a girls trip next July to Essence & I don't want to be the ONLY overweight Friend!! So, I've already lost this week & need to get back on that horse.
I just have so many thoughts running thru my mind & so much to say... UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! SO DA$N FRUSTRATING!!!