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    CLEARNIGHTSKY   22,199
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I asked for support today, and I got it.

Saturday, November 02, 2013

I have read and heard that one important aspect to reaching goals is support.

Support is one aspect of life that I have neglected. I isolate a lot.

I went to a support group workshop recently, and this workshop really brought up some feelings for me. I have both a growing awareness of the issues and feelings as well as the willingness to work on the issues and feelings.

I've had everything bottled up inside for some time now. I had almost written off a particular person, I'll call her "Alicia," for support. I thought she didn't have time for me.

I went to my support group today where tears just welled up inside me, and I knew I had to ask someone if I could talk to her. I was planning on reaching out to "Brittany" whom I'd never opened up to before. Brittany left the meeting early, and so I thought, I have to go for it, and so I chased after her out the door of the meeting. I caught her outside the meeting and in the midst of tears, asked if I could call her since I was, as I put it, "hemorrhaging emotionally." Brittany said I could call her. Who knows what she's thinking--oh, well. I gotta do what I gotta do.

I went back into the meeting. At the end, I asked Alicia (the one I thought didn't have time for me) one more time if I could have lunch with her, and she said she had plans. I said I really needed to talk to someone, and she went outside with me. I was crying and saying that I couldn't find anyone to talk to lately, and she said that I could talk to her anytime. I said that I had tried to contact her but hadn't heard back from her, and apparently she didn't get my most recent voicemail (I'm thinking that she heard it and might have forgotten . . . she's got a lot going on herself.)

She invited me to come to her house after her lunch date, and so I went to her house and shared with her what I was going through and working on. I talked with her for about an hour. She was a great person to talk to. I feel like a load has been lifted off my chest.

I feel like I need MORE MORE MORE of this--space and opportunity to talk to someone. I am conflicted, because in the past I have talked my mom's ears off (or so it seemed to me), and I was left feeling like I was talking too much. I think the problem is that I just don't need to go to my mom anymore (I haven't gone to her much this past year.)

I definitely need to be heard, and I don't want to be a person who insensitively takes advantage of a listening ear and talks someone's ears off. I tend to "undertalk" until I can't take it anymore, and then I grab someone and talk talk talk.

It's a hard thing.

Maybe my reaching out today has been a GREAT step for me. I think so. I'm pretty sure it's so. It's probably so. It is so.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 11/4/2013 12:38AM

    Sounds like a great step to me! It can be really hard to be open and admit that you may need some help. Good for you! I am glad that you may have found what you needed!

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WALNUTT1961 11/3/2013 10:13AM

    I'm glad you found support! Sometimes we just need to have someone listen to us.

Have a good Sunday!

Lee Ann

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GHK1962 11/3/2013 9:04AM

    I am glad you were able to find someone ... perhaps 2 someones ... to talk and confide with.

Healthy stuffs ... the include both the physical and the mental. And the latter can be harder to achieve than the former. Just keep at it ...

Wishing you well.

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-WISPY- 11/2/2013 7:24PM

    Pleased you got the help you needed today. Talking stuff out was essential to me. I had so much baggage.

Along the way it was suggested that I started writing daily. Not so much a journal, but just to sit and write all the thoughts that were racing through my head, so that I got them out on paper where I could see them. The important thing is not to censor anything but just write it all down. Let it all pour out like a flood. Once I started doing this - it was very helpful. I began to see the things that went through my head on a regular basis and it began to unwind like a ball of twine. I also went for counselling to deal with what came up.

I was not ready at that time to give support - I was desperate to find support. I just felt so lonely and isolated - had felt that way all my life, so when I found others who had been through similar things I just wanted to talk my head off.

Learning to give support to others as well as receive it came later on. When we are in a lot of pain we tend to only want others to support us - hence the therapist.

Hugs Wispy.

PS: I believe that we cannot make mistakes. No matter what we do our Higher Power/the Universe can use it to help us learn. I have learned more from the seeming mistakes in my life than I could have in any other way. I am now grateful for everything.

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KABMPH 11/2/2013 6:30PM

    Good for you. Asking for help can be so hard!

Recently, I had 2 friends ask me for help. One wanted me to go with her to the closing on her condo. She was making a big purchase all by herself and wanted a little support! The other friend wanted to freeze her eggs because she's getting older and hasn't had a baby yet.

Big support. But a good life is filled with support, both giving and receiving.

I wish you the best of luck in your journeys!

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