Saturday, November 02, 2013
My first thought this morning was 'I'm so glad I'm not in a tent right now". Let me back up...
Yesterday after work I went directly to my parents house because I have not been having a good week. My mom usually gives me some kind of pep talk to make me feel better. Well, she saw that I was sick and said that she can't bring me along to sleep on the cold ground for 3 days. She also doesn't want to get sick. I was kicked off the boat. My husband and I will drive Monday morning to Houston to pick up my passport and come right back. No trip. No food. No wine fest. I was already given the OK from Medifast to be off plan for 3 entire days. I was mad now. Stupid cold.
My mom kept trying to offer me potatoes because apparently I looked starved now. It was a good choice to up my goal weight, I think. I don't want to look emaciated. I didn't want potatoes. I wanted my Tex Mex and margaritas! I mean, how many times can this trip be canceled?!?!!
She had a bottle of wine on the counter and I just kind of stared at it. Oh hell. Screw it. I told her we're going to Trader Joe's and I will buy and eat and drink whatever the hell I want. It took 45 minutes in traffic to get there. It's smaller than I expected and the line started at the door. I bought yellow squash for my dinner the next few nights. I also bought some cheap wine. Each bottle for about $3. I didn't get anything else because nothing looked very tasty. I called in an order from the local burger place for a veggie burger. That also took forever. I almost forgot what a freaking hassle it is to drive all the way to some restaurant and wait for the order and then pay like $10 for a burger then drive all the way back home. Ugh. I do not see myself eating like I used to 4 months ago AT ALL. I hate traffic.
Halfway through the burger I started feeling sick. Probably because I currently AM sick. I went to get a few Halloween candies but didn't eat any. Just stared at the golden wrapping of the tiny snack sized Twix. They looked pretty but I don't even like candy. What I do like is wine. I wouldn't have even gotten the burger if I didn't have to. Drinking wine on an empty stomach will just get you a trip to the ER. I don't have regular food at home. Eating so much made me feel too full. I'm spoiled by the small Medifast meals. They fill me up but my stomach is always so flat.
I don't remember anything after I finished my wine bottle. Apparently I had drunk texted my friend and bought some stuff on Amazon. Somehow I appeared in my bed. I woke up at 3 AM very confused. I'm such a lightweight now. I used to finish a wine bottle as a snack. I have a glass that holds an entire bottle of wine!! 4 months ago I called regular bottles of wine 'sample sizes'. Now look at me. Black out after a few glasses.
Each time I cheat on my diet I learn something about myself. It's kind of like being in a life or death situation and seeing what your actual behavior is like. I learned that I truly do hate candy and sweets. I learned that I don't like eating at restaurants. I think Trader Joe's is overrated. I absolutely love wine. That will be my Achilles's heel. That is what I will have to watch like a hawk after I'm done. I'm not gaining this weight back.
So that is why I'm kinda glad this trip was canceled. Imagine the same scenario but in a tent with no running water or electricity. Then I would have had to walk all day at the festival and drink and eat more. Gah. Sounds awful. Instead of 3 full days of off plan I chose to just have one meal. I'm glad to be back on plan this morning because me and regular food right now have a problem.
My goal for November is to reach 135 and be done. Ambitious but hey, it's a goal.