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    ANGELCITYGAL   30,192
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Rebuilding A Life


Friday, November 01, 2013



I didn't start out to gain anything. Certainly not to rebuild my life. I was much more focused on what I didn't want than what I want and value. I started out to lose weight. I started out to ditch the fat, the unhealthy habits, the fatigue and malaise. I was all about what wasn't working in my life.

Somewhere along the way, that began to shift. I started not only imagining life without the things I don't want, but getting excited about what I was building. I started getting excited about the creative possibilities. Sure, following my food plan and fitness regimen was causing my body to drop pounds, but darned if I wasn't also getting *strong*. I began to crave more physical strength, and stamina, too.



I began to see this process as one of rebuilding my life as the physical strength I am building also became a metaphor for emotional and spiritual wellness. Now I see these areas of health as so intertwined that taking care of any one of them causes improvements in every aspect of my life. And I really don't know how this works, but the more effort I put into taking care of myself (following my food and fitness plans, getting enough sleep, drinking water), somehow I have *more* time and energy for work, parenting, and general "getting stuff done." How is it that self-care causes me to have not only more emotional availability, but also more time for things that matter?

I've been working lately on letting go of unhealthy attachments -- relationships that don't serve me, and also allowing my ex to get under my skin. I have to keep in contact with my ex (we share our daughter), but I don't have to let her push buttons. As I let go of attachments and expectations, there's room for new relationships and happiness -- or just room for the now. Deep breath (again). Instead of focusing on what I don't want in my relationships, the more I build on what works, or what makes me stronger, the easier it is to let the unnecessary or unhelpful fall away. This weight management journey is a powerful and agile metaphor.

I'm truly grateful to be on this journey of health and fitness. Thanks, Spark Friends!


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BESSHAILE 11/10/2013 7:19AM

    Wow ! this is really a Light Bulb Blog. Thanks!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 11/10/2013 2:59AM

    powerful blog emoticon

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DRKYASHI 11/3/2013 2:11AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPEEDY143 11/3/2013 2:10AM

    "Every day in every way...." There really are more benefits on this journey than weight-loss. I've been pleasantry surprised over and over with the emotionally healing and personal growth that, as you say, goes hand in hand with self care. You have a gift for putting it so eloquently emoticon Another beautiful blog emoticon

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SUNNYBEACHGIRL 11/2/2013 4:13PM

    Some times it is hard to get out of the focus on what isn't working. Your post really made me stop and think about how getting physically healthy is a metaphor for emotional and spiritual wellness. It is important to think differently than before.

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GETDONE 11/2/2013 3:45PM

    took a pic of this on my phone--good reminder emoticon

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TRIPLE_EMME 11/2/2013 8:42AM

    It is great that you have taken positive action to rebuild your life... and can now see things through a positive lens. You are doing awesome! And, THAT will be a great example for your child.

Sorry to hear that your ex gets under your skin... we can't control others, just our responses to them. Easier said than done, I know. Keep strong, you can do this!

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SERENE-BEAN 11/2/2013 1:59AM

    I am so glad your life is going where you need it to go. (And on a personal note, my ex and I didn't have kids of our own, but she stayed in contact with me for a while to help the kids transition with the divorce, and it's a really hard place to be in. I feel for you. emoticon )

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MOVEITMARY 11/1/2013 11:03PM

    I am experiencing a lot of life changes too. You are so right, everything is connected. Thanks!

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FELINEBETTER 11/1/2013 10:13PM

    AC Gal - If you don't write for a living, you should! What a powerful blog! You have not only touched upon, but have very articulately summed up many of my thoughts and feelings. I too have experienced an all-encompassing change since committing myself to work the Spark Program. The idea of getting healthier was my goal, but little did I realize that with the physical transformations, some strong emotional & spiritual changes would occur as well. I am so grateful for the Spark Program as well as accessing the wisdom of people like yourself. Thank you for being so willing to put yourself out "there."

It's a privilege & a pleasure! emoticon emoticon

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TREV1964 11/1/2013 10:10PM

    A very enlightening blog here. I couldn't agree more with the statement - Get yourself right first then gradually everything else will follow - it sounds as if this is happening for you.

Cheers

Trev

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AWESOMECHELZ 11/1/2013 6:00PM

    It is so very true that one area of health affects another in positive ways as we improve. I noticed for me too that the relationships improvements came after I, myself, was healthier, stronger. Thanks for sharing and I hope your X will find something else to do with her life. emoticon

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CATLADY52 11/1/2013 5:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 11/1/2013 2:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
We will be free.
Hugs, Audra

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APACHESTEVE 11/1/2013 1:59PM

    Good Day, I came across your Blog thanks to being friends with Juliamoonchild, and I'm so happy that I did find your words and thoughts. Actually Julia said most of what I was already thinking, could be why she and I became Spark Friends, but let me echo the sentiment that your words were "Chicken Noodle Soup" to my being and spirit. I might change one word, as your Blog to me describes a "whole-istic" approach to the journey of health and fitness, and just plain being nice to ourselves.

Your thoughts were a joy to read, thank you for sharing them.

Steve

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JULIAMOONCHILD 11/1/2013 1:53PM

    Stumbled upon your blog today and boy am I glad I did. This extremely well written piece says a lot - and a lot of different things to different people. Whether it was your intention or not, you have surely touched on certain specific issues that many of us here are dealing with ... And by doing so, have shined a light, so to speak, to the far end of the tunnel.

Yep, I see it clearly now ... Not all the bits and pieces shook up in a grab bag - Like what will we get today? Eat right or cheat - Exercise and then eat whatever crap we want cuz we exercised? Make our bodies healthier while we wallow in despair in our tortured minds?

Nope, instead, you've wisely pointed out that there is a whole package -(a holistic package). We just have to open it and start using all of it's contents. Seems like you're in this for the whole deal. You're experiencing it - embracing it - and living (yes, truly living) it - and I think that is one grand example to follow!
emoticon

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UNSWEETMAMA 11/1/2013 11:51AM

    I needed this.
emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/1/2013 11:28AM

    Wise words!

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LINDAK25 11/1/2013 11:11AM

    What a wonderful perspective. You've hit upon what appeals to me most about Spark--all that positive energy. You see beyond that though: being able to have a more fulfilling life is the reward you get when you take care of yourself. I love that. Now that is a goal worth working toward. Good for you!

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DOLPHINLADY05 11/1/2013 10:47AM

    Love this... thanks for sharing. Your words are very powerful and motivating!!

emoticon emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 11/1/2013 10:12AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PIGGYWAY 11/1/2013 9:55AM

  THANKS

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GIRLINMOTION 11/1/2013 9:49AM

    Thank you for sharing. You have me rethinking how to move forward on some things I don't want to what I want, in a job, in a relationship and so on. Keep it positive.

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CHERIJ16 11/1/2013 8:54AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MACANBEFIT 11/1/2013 8:29AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GIRLONTHEGO2010 11/1/2013 7:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTASP 11/1/2013 6:23AM

    Wonderful blog. I think it works as you said. Self care is so important.


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THINFITFEMINIST 11/1/2013 5:37AM

    Some aspects of who you are is a beautiful and sensitive woman. The sensitive part also has vulnerability. Embrace ALL of who you are.

Relationships - especially close intimate ones - are mirrors for those aspects of ourselves we hide from.

May you embrace all of who you are. May you find peace above all else.

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MAGGIEVAN 11/1/2013 2:31AM

    I love the fact that you are so positive, congrats.

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TOKIEMOON 11/1/2013 2:14AM

    Sounds like you're getting in touch with your spiritual side as well. Great evolving outlook!

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ARTJAC 11/1/2013 1:42AM

    emoticon

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ZRIE014 11/1/2013 12:17AM

  nice

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