Friday, November 01, 2013
I didn't start out to gain anything. Certainly not to rebuild my life. I was much more focused on what I didn't want than what I want and value. I started out to lose weight. I started out to ditch the fat, the unhealthy habits, the fatigue and malaise. I was all about what wasn't working in my life.
Somewhere along the way, that began to shift. I started not only imagining life without the things I don't want, but getting excited about what I was building. I started getting excited about the creative possibilities. Sure, following my food plan and fitness regimen was causing my body to drop pounds, but darned if I wasn't also getting *strong*. I began to crave more physical strength, and stamina, too.
I began to see this process as one of rebuilding my life as the physical strength I am building also became a metaphor for emotional and spiritual wellness. Now I see these areas of health as so intertwined that taking care of any one of them causes improvements in every aspect of my life. And I really don't know how this works, but the more effort I put into taking care of myself (following my food and fitness plans, getting enough sleep, drinking water), somehow I have *more* time and energy for work, parenting, and general "getting stuff done." How is it that self-care causes me to have not only more emotional availability, but also more time for things that matter?
I've been working lately on letting go of unhealthy attachments -- relationships that don't serve me, and also allowing my ex to get under my skin. I have to keep in contact with my ex (we share our daughter), but I don't have to let her push buttons. As I let go of attachments and expectations, there's room for new relationships and happiness -- or just room for the now. Deep breath (again). Instead of focusing on what I don't want in my relationships, the more I build on what works, or what makes me stronger, the easier it is to let the unnecessary or unhelpful fall away. This weight management journey is a powerful and agile metaphor.
I'm truly grateful to be on this journey of health and fitness. Thanks, Spark Friends!