Thursday, October 31, 2013
Five days from now we will be in the air on our way to Oahu. Seeing our son and his family will be a real treat. Last time we saw them was in April. I guess 7 months isn’t so bad. But little kids grow so fast. We haven’t even met Bjørn yet, but he is already sitting up on his own! Ingrid is 2 ½ years old. So much happens developmentally when they are young. One thing nice is my DIL often does FaceTime with me. She holds either their iPad or her iPhone up so the kids can see my face and I can talk to them. Even the baby smiles and laughs at me! I think it’s amazing the technology now compared to when my kids were little.
I am not “celebrating” Halloween in any way. We don’t get trick-or-treaters, partly because we keep the porch light off, and partly because there are very few kids on this cul-de-sac. My hubby never cared for this holiday and we didn’t take the kids out door to door or to any festivals. We did get face paints and enjoyed giving the kids cat or tiger faces. They enjoyed that. But it was at other times, just for fun. When I was a kid, there was never a year that passed without making myself a costume and going out for candy. I think I was 11 when my parents decided I was too old to go door to door.
I made a crockpot full of chili today. Beans only, no meat. Some would say that isn’t chili, but I don’t care, I like it that way! We’re waiting for our son to get here to enjoy chili and have a brownie for dessert. I will have extra chili that we won’t be able to eat before we leave, so I will freeze some of it. We had a 75-degree day, and it’s supposed to be at least 70 this weekend until it only reaches 60 on Sunday. So it’s not exactly chili weather. But I’m going to enjoy it.
Just wanted you all to know that I’m still here, and working on my mindset. My hubby is working on me by reminding me that he loves me as I am. When I was 210 pounds, he one time said if I didn’t lose weight he would leave me. That stuck in my head, and now whenever I see myself in the mirror, even though I’ve lost 60 of those pounds, I freak out. (naked isn’t a pretty sight) (clothed I don’t feel so bad) I must have this deep down fear that he will leave me if I don’t get super thin. Recently I have brought this up and he told me he knows he shouldn’t have said that. He told me he would never leave me. He wants me to let go of that fear. It’s hard. But I have to start believing him; he says I’m too hard on myself.
I need to stop looking at myself naked!