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Decision time

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I was feeling pretty lost here recently. I've been sick for almost 2 months now. Within a week after I ran the half marathon in Regina, I got sick. Shingles. It really kicked my butt. I had already signed up for another half marathon in Niagra Falls. Hubby and I decided to still go. I wouldn't be able to run, but we could make a holiday of it anyhow.

I ended up walking the half marathon. It took me just over 3 1/2 hours. I didn't run a single step. I was too weak to. I am actually surprised I was able to walk the entire thing.

Anyhow, I've had some time to reflect over this past year. I worked hard and trained hard for the race in Regina. I only lost 4lbs the entire time. I actually signed up for this second one a couple of months later to help keep me on track and continue through with my training - it didn't work out that way.

I am still fairly sick. I'm battling one wicked cold now. It's still building at this point.

I'm so tired. Not only from being so sick. I'm also tired and worn out.

I thought I was doing what I needed to do to shed these extra 30lbs. I was mistaken. The scale might lie on a week to week basis, but not over a 6 month period of time.

I guess I didn't realize it, but I've actually been out-eating my fitness. I've known for a long while now that I can't seem to force myself to eat salads. I told myself there are other ways to get my freggies in. I am starting to wonder if I've used that as the perfect excuse to actually not eat my freggies in the long run.

I've been at a bit of a cross roads for a couple of weeks now. Part of me wants to buckle down and train. Eat right. Run. And loose this weight. Part of me wants to just throw in the towel. I'm sick. I'm weak. Physically weak, but it's wearing me down emotionally too.

The tough part I haven't really faced is that taking the first path - training, eating right, and loosing the weight - is not going to be that easy. It's the harder work of the two. And I'll be starting over at square one. I don't even track my foods anymore. I'm not drinking my water. I'm not even paying attention to what I am eating, or when.

The reality is, choosing the second path - just giving up - is not really an option for me. The regret I live with every day is taking a toll on me. I guess that's another thing I haven't faced. I see this path as the easy one. Eat what I want. Do what I want. Deal with training "later". When I feel better. Reality is I'll never really feel better and be all gung ho to start.

So I'm thinking now I've got today to rest and get my crap together. Get ready to face the music and be ready to go in the morning. Recharge all my running gadgets. Get out a new pair of shoes. Get my cooler weather running gear all together.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NHES220
    So sorry you are struggling. You've really been knocked down by a tough illness - Shingles is a tough one. You need to not be so hard on yourself and build back your stamina slowly. But with the eating, there is more to veggies than salad. You also need your protein. Lots of good advice here before me, but you sound motivated and that is the biggest part. Good luck!
    1597 days ago
    All I can say is that I like what people have said so far and I'm writing it down for when I need it later. Sometimes you just need to refresh and remind yourself of things. The last time I gave up and started regaining was when I had planned an exercise trip where I biked 30+ miles per day and came back having gained weight. (it wasn't muscle)
    1597 days ago
  • FIT4MEIN2013
    It is so hard. I suggest that you start using my formula for success-

    Write down why you want to lose weight. List all the reasons why those extra pounds are burdensome. That is your motivation. Post them by your phone, in your car, on the bathroom mirror, next to the kitchen sink....

    Part 2 is determining whether wanting to reach that goal is worth the effort needed to do so. If you do not think it is worth it, nobody else can help you to get there. If you DO think it is worth the trouble and hard work, nothing can stop you! We can encourage you, we can help you through the temptations and hard spots, but we cannot give you the motivation to do something that you do not want to do.

    Part 3 is your plan. How do you plan to lose the weight that you have decided is worth the effort to lose? Will it be dieting? How? Calories? How many? Atkins? Weight Watchers? What kind of exercise and how much are you prepared to do at this point? If you don't have a plan, you will continue doing the same thing you are doing now and that isn't helping you to get to where you want to be..... which brings us to step 4...

    Part 4- What is your goal? You can set an ultimate goal, but 50# is a lot to look at. You need to set smaller measurable goals. Not all of them should or have to do with weight. Perhaps it is to move for 10 minutes straight. That movement might be walking, dancing, jogging or marching in place. You might want to get below a certain milestone number (those over 200# tend to strive for ONE-derland). Or look at a 5% weightloss. YOU decide the goals.

    Now put these all together and get this plan in motion.

    MEASURE YOUR SERVINGS! Our minds are sneaky and we vastly underestimate what we are eating.
    TRACK EVERYTHING THAT GOES IN YOUR MOUTH! If you write it down, it is real. Don't try to remember at the end of the day. Do it immediately after you eat if not before.
    MOVE! It probably won't be much at first. 15 minutes on the bike was hard for me at first and I had to ice my knee afterward. After several weeks I tried the elliptical trainer. I couldn't do a minute. Now I can do an hour without any problem.

    The fact is, you CAN do this! I am proof of it.

    1598 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    Start small. You're still not feeling great so walk instead of run. Drink your water. Track your food. See where you are right now, and then work each day to do a tiny bit better than the day before.

    I'm not ill, but I'm in the same boat. I've been so stressed and overwhelmed lately that fitness and nutrition are just a fond memory.
    1598 days ago
    I hope you are feeling better soon. emoticon
    1598 days ago
    Hope you feel better soon! Even though it sucks, you've done quite a bit even though you haven't been feeling well. For that you should be proud. The eating right, it's never easy and just like training physically you have to train yourself to eat right. I know this because I struggle with it. It would just be so much easier to just eat what I wanted and go down and burn it off. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way( even though it would be awesome if it did!). Don't think of it as starting over, just think of it as refreshing yourself. You're not back at square one, but just adding more adjustments to the things you've already been doing. You're just making it better for you!

    Best of luck, hope it works out!
    1599 days ago
    Maybe there's a third option --

    If you are interested in shedding the weight, why not work on that aspect and not be "in training"? I have read many times that training for races usually means that weight loss goes on the back burner...

    Maybe it is time to focus on the weight loss and some sort of exercise regimen that doesn't involve training for a race. When you have met your weight loss goal you can resume your racing schedule. Sounds to me like a win-win. (and you wouldn't be the first to choose that path...)

    Good luck with whatever path you choose.

    1599 days ago
    1599 days ago
    Definitely dig into the intake piece too. One suggestion I will offer is that you get extra C to help you with the illnesses. Your body uses it up so fast daily. Buy a powder that you can mix with a drink of some sort.
    1599 days ago
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